The old lady bitch fight between Anjelica Huston and Jacki Weaver has sadly come to end, as 72-year-old Jacki is apologizing for telling 67-year-old Angelica to “she can go fuck herself,” and adding, “I would say she must be going through menopause, but she must have had that ages ago.” Jacki went after Angelica for trashing the movie Poms, which Jacki stars in with Diane Keaton, Pam Grier, and Rhea Perlman. But bad news for anyone who wanted to see Jacki and Angelica go at it in a Metamucil-covered wrestling match, that’s not going to happen.
Yesterday Meghan McCain and Joy Behar made everyone forget about Whoopi’s latest victim-blaming whoopsie when the topic around the table turned to Donald Trump. If you know how much Joy hates Trump and how much Meghan loves playing Republican’s advocate, then you know exactly where this is going.
Christina Aguilera was on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen last night, and during the Plead The Fifth segment, revealed that during the shooting of 2001’s Lady Marmalade video, Pink was a real gitchy-gitchy ya-ya-ya to her. Which might explain the story Pink told during her PT5th with Andy a couple of years back about Christina swinging on her at a club. Naturally, Andy asked Christina to tell her side of that story, but she seems to have come down with a case of Motherhood Onset Amnesia, because she pivoted away from the question. She gave a vague denial but did say that Pink used to intimidate her on the set of Lady Marmalade. So if she had tried to swing at her, there would have been motive.
Kanye West’s new friend, that talking tree, needs to come and get him because he’s getting messy again.
Kanye’s Fern Gully moment of zen didn’t last long. Kanye added some oil to the pan and reheated his cold, dried-out, rotten beef with Drake. This time Kanye’s b-hole got twisted over Drake’s team asking for clearance to sample his song Say What’s Real. Drake remixed it in 2009. Kanye got mad because he says he’s been trying to talk to Drake for months but Drake has been avoiding him like Kanye avoids a sense of reason. Kanye could’ve, I don’t know, used his finger to open up the Messages app and text Drake, but that wouldn’t have made him trend on Twitter. And if it doesn’t get Kanye attention, it didn’t happen. Cut to Azalea Banks screaming: THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!
Because I guess Leonardo DiCatchAHo wants to remain alpha of the Pussy Posse and knows that he won’t get his pick of model cooch if Thor is around him, he supposedly twice dropped a fart (a low-emission green fart, I’m sure) on the idea of being Chris Hemsworth’s friend. That’s what Chris’ trainer says anyway.
Stanford Blatch Isn’t Only Holding Carrie Bradshaw’s Fendi Baguette, He’s Using It To Smack At Samantha Jones
All together: THIS AGAIN.
In case you’ve been focusing on more important matters (like doing a study on how long does it really take for paint to dry on a wall) and haven’t been following the war between Kim Cattrall and everyone else from Sex and the City, let me throw it down real quick for you.
The Daily Mail got the messiness started by reporting that Kim’s diva bitch shenanigans and crazy demands were keeping a third Sex and the City movie from terrorizing our senses. Sarah Jessica Parker responded by only saying that a third movie isn’t happening. Kim defended herself by saying that the only demand she made was to not do another movie. Kristin Davis cried about it on Instagram, and Willie Garson (who played Carrie’s gay sidekick Stanford Blatch) popped his head into the shit storm to say that the rumors from The Daily Mail were true. Kim kept on defending herself and talked to smug butt plug in a suit Piers Morgan about the situation. Kim said that SJP could’ve been nicer about her not wanting to do another movie, and she dropped a fart on her ex-castmates for not supporting her decision.
And here we are now, and here’s Stanford Blatch to come at Samantha Jones for a second time.