When we last posted about the divorce fight that is messier than a broken Porta-Potty at an overcrowded prune festival (no, I’m not talking about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce fight, this time), Ioan Gruffudd had filed for joint custody of his two daughters with Alice Evans, 12-year-old Ella and 8-year-old Elsie, and also submitted more evidence to the court of her unhinged ways. Like Ioan alleged that Alice regularly verbally abused him during their 14-year marriage, including in front of their daughters, and once said that he should get his eyes checked at the gynecologist since he has “saggy vagina eyes.” Well, their custody situation hasn’t been worked out yet (I’m sure lawyers are putting on riot gear in preparation for that fight), but Ioan did get a win in court yesterday. The judge made Ioan’s temporary domestic abuse restraining order against Alice much less temporary. Ioan was granted a three-year restraining order against Alice and now she’s been forbidden from talking trash about him or his girlfriend Bianca Wallace on social media. So that repeated tapping sound you hear is Alice’s typing fingers of rage furiously shaking because it’s been more than 5 minutes since she’s gotten her fix of blasting her ex on social media.
On today’s episode of We Need Talk About Ezra, Ezra Miller was put into handcuffs early Monday morning after turning paradise into a violent hellscape of insufferableness. Variety says that 29-year-old Ezra was arrested at a bar in Hilo, Hawaii after allegedly screaming shit at people, snatching a mic from a woman singing karaoke, and going after a dude who was just trying to play darts. Yup, Ezra trumped “drunken mess warbling out Don’t Stop Believin’ for the tenth time” (yes, I’m guilty of that) as the most annoying thing in a karaoke bar. Ezra was booked on disorderly conduct charges and posed in a mug shot that’s a cross between “serial killer whose neighbors describe as ‘quiet and kept to themselves” and “DC villain out of DC villain drag in a gritty origin movie.”
Open Post: Hosted By The McDonald’s Customer Who Threw A Bratty Tantrum And Blamed It On Low Blood Sugar
File this under: Yet Another Thing That McDonald’s Employees Don’t Get Paid Enough To Deal With.
It’s another day, and we’ve got yet another entitled mess who doesn’t realize that lurking around every corner is someone with an iPhone who will record you and upload your messiness to social media, making you the kind of viral star you don’t want to be. At a McDonald’s in Arkansas, TikTok user @still.bad.decisions, recorded the moment when a customer farted out a hissy fit and knocked stuff over because her coffee was taking too long. And she blamed it on having diabetes. First of all, if you’ve got diabetes, you should not drink McDonald’s coffee since I’m pretty sure it’s coffee-flavored boiled corn syrup. Second of all, how are the employees going to rush to get her coffee out if they’re too busy cleaning up the mess she made?! They needed to add a heaping side of logic to go with her coffee.
Not even a pandemic and a quarantine is going to keep Shia LaBeouf from allegedly throwing down some full-throttle asshole foolery on the streets. Seen above looking like he’s angrily asking you to pull his finger, Shia has been accused of getting violent with a guy during a fight in Los Angeles in June. And now he’s facing charges. After watching Shia “act” every layer of stoned as Jeff Spicoli in that Fast Times reading, I figured that maybe, just maybe, as he gets older, he’s mellowing out on a fluffy cloud of the green shit. But well, LaBeouf is LaBeef-ing again.
Cat Cora Filed A Restraining Order Against Her Ex-Wife For Allegedly Trying To Making Her Life A Living Hell
Currently, there are several celebrity divorce fights going on that the Department of Transportation has their eyes on since they’re certified train wrecks (see: Brangelina’s, Jaime King’s, Dr. Dre’s, etc…). But one would hope that after the court punches the divorce papers with a FINALIZED stamp, everyone would put down their shanks and go to their separate corners. Well, Cat Cora’s fucked-up relationship with her ex-wife, Jennifer Cora, might be the Messy Ghost of Relationship With Your Ex Yet To Come for those couples. Because Cat Cora, from Food Network’s Iron Chef America, wants a restraining order against Jennifer Cora. Cat claims that Jennifer is a nightmare bigger than getting ostrich as the secret ingredient on Iron Chef.
If Noel Gallagher had calmly said that he’s more than happy to wear a mask since he cares about other human beings and wants to do his part to stop the spread of coronavirus, I’d immediately lube up my parts and assume the position, because I’d finally get some since today is Opposite Day. But since Noel Gallagher is Noel Gallagher he didn’t say that and while on Matt Morgan’s Funny How? podcast (via The Guardian), he made it damn clear that the only way he would hate a mask more is if it had the words I Love Adele embroidered on it.