Yesterday Meghan McCain and Joy Behar made everyone forget about Whoopi’s latest victim-blaming whoopsie when the topic around the table turned to Donald Trump. If you know how much Joy hates Trump and how much Meghan loves playing Republican’s advocate, then you know exactly where this is going.
During my five month baby hiatus, I got reacquainted with my good ol’ friend, The View. For five months straight, I watched it every day to pass the time while nap-trapped under my baby on the couch. My infant daughter’s ears lived through the five weeks Joy Behar took over moderating duties from Whoopi and the show temporarily turned into the Joy vs. Meghan McCain Glass Table Death Match. I shouldn’t have admitted that out loud – I’m totally going to get a visit from CPS.
Point is, I came to remember that Meghan’s internal filter is permanently stuck on “be a loud right-leaning mess,” which was probably the sole job qualification The View producers were looking for when they hired her. Even though it may seem like Meghan annoys everyone within earshot, there is one person out there who wants to hear what Meghan has to say, and that’s Howard Stern.
It’s been a minute since Whoopi Goldberg was on The View, and that’s because she had a pneumonia so bad that she was basically staring the Grim Reaper in the face. I guess Death decided if Whoopi can hold a day job with those hyenas on the panel, pneumonia sure as shit isn’t going to be what brings her down. She’s on the mend and even dropped by the show today to kind of announce her return, if you can manage to hear it through Meghan McCain’s war whooping.
There are few things more American than the enduring tradition of daytime talk show Halloween hi-jinks. You take a bunch of middle-aged talking heads, a squad of professional makeup artists and costume designers, and a squealing studio audience; put ‘em in a pop culture blender on puree and voila! Whoopi Goldberg dressed as a purple baby vampire. And there’s no getting out of it at this point. It’s a whole thing now, everybody must participate. Do you think Ryan Seacrest enjoys sitting in a makeup chair for three hours and getting cinched up in a corset? I don’t know his life! But he does it whether he likes it or not.
Much like half of our fair country, the producers of The View are not pro-President Sexist-Egotistical-Lying-Hypocritical-Bigot. (I’m speaking of Dabney Colemen of course.) How do we know this? It’s because they’ve supplemented conservative host Meghan McCain (who loathes President Trump and the White House for constantly shitting on her father, Senator John McCain) with ANOTHER conservative host who happens to hate Trump. Her name is Abby Huntsman and, get this, she’s coming over from Fox News!
The View hasn’t had a good brawl since Whoopi Goldberg battled intelligence with that “rape rape” comment. Joy Behar and Meghan McCain were generous enough to give the viewing audience an exciting callback to the “Rosie O’Donnell prepping to devour Elisabeth Hasselbeck“-era by throwing down on Friday’s episode.