The Evangelistassaince is upon us! After settling her lawsuit with CoolSculpting, Linda Evangelista has continued her return to modeling with a cover of British Vogue’s September issue. Not pictured: all the bland dead-eyed nepotism models who are on the ground after fainting with shock from the sight of a model actually displaying some spark of life in her eyes – British Vogue

Amandla Stenberg currently stars in A24’s latest horror movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, and they decided to read the reviews, specifically the review from The New York Times. Out of all the words in the 500-word review, Amandla focused on the line that says BBB “doubles as a 95-minute advertisement for cleavage and Charli XCX’s latest single.” That seemed to irk Amandla and they slid into the reviewer’s DMs to basically say, “Quit staring at my tits!” – Pajiba

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If wearing a skirt on the red carpet of his Bullet Train premiere in Berlin earlier this summer was Brad Pitt’s plan-A to distract us from the imminent release of an FBI report Angelina Jolie initiated back in the stone age following the now infamous 2016 fight the couple had on their private jet that eventually led to Brad producing and starring in Six-Years a Divorcé, his plan-B seems to be calling People Magazine’s emergency PR crisis hotline and reminding them how many exclusives of his babies he’s signed off on for them over the years.

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Drag queen Shannel, best known for appearances on the first seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race and RPDR All Stars, caught shit over a comedic bit where she “steals” tips from the audience. Audience member Megan Gerber has accused the queen of taking $700 out of her purse during a drag brunch performance in Vegas. Megan uploaded footage of the alleged theft to TikTok and so far it has 5 million views. The video shows Shannel rifling through Megan’s purse, fishing out some cash, and returning the purse to her table. Wow! Right in front of cameras and a packed house! To quote Drag Race UK’s Tayce, “The cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity, and the gumption” (IF SHANNEL IS GUILTY).

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While it seems like Jonah Hill was talking about his love of dick-shaped foods in Superbad just yesterday, it turns out that yesterday was actually the 15th anniversary of the film’s release. Since then, Jonah has had an eventful career, even earning Academy Award nominations for his performances in Moneyball and The Wolf of Wall Street (in which his lines also afforded him the opportunity to be Hollywood’s top fuck-worder). With success inevitably comes haters, though, and he’s had people discussing his weight and body ever since he became famous. Jonah has pivoted to directing as well, and now that he’s at a place in his career where he’s able to make the choice, he’s announced in an open letter that he’ll no longer be hitting the promotion stroll for his films because it’s had adverse effects on his anxiety and mental health, according to IndieWire.

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Famed alleged “Extortionist,” Gwyneth Paltrow, is about to take her goop business prowess to another level, baby! No, she isn’t opening a multi-level marketing scheme version of goop–though I believe with my soul that it’s coming–Gwyneth will be joining the other rich vampires of Shark Tank to profit off of the ideas of other people who can’t afford to get their businesses started without submitting to the whims of wealthy benefactors. Personally, I think that she will fit right in!

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