Page Six says that Goop held a “wellness summit” in London and it sounded like a time share pitch (sans free continental breakfast) from pretentious HELL! One attendee found the experience so ridiculous they called her “a fucking extortionist”. And you know what? If the over-priced shoe fits.
First, Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goopers charged $5,700 just to go. When they arrived they were then pitched Goop shit they should buy and it was like a Mary Kay weekend from Hell if a weekend in Hell also cost thousands of dollars. Basically it was an excuse for Goop to pick your pocket, and Gwyneth apparently didn’t even go to a lot of the events. One “prominent British guest” apparently was so grossed out that she said in a WhatsApp message to other I’m assuming fancy attendees:
“GP is a f uc king extortionist.”
GP is what people in the “Goop community” use to refer to Gwyneth. In case you didn’t know because you’re a worthless peasant.
Goop also told attendees to book rooms through the Goop website. The price of the rooms: $1,300. So wasn’t it fascinating to find that the hotel had rooms which were $250? But hey, Goop’s were “suites with a gluten-free breakfast included.” Oh well, I know how costly a gluten-free diet can be. JK, I eat gluten and get constipated like a regular person.
Now here’s what they got in exchange. The “health summit” featured helpful tips such as “creativity with your hands is like channeling God,” I’m assuming a lecture or a class on how to “hydrate mindfully” along with a “sound bath” (unclear on whether it’s people bathing in sound? Or listening to music bathing?), and they also got a work out with her personal trainer: Tracy Anderson. And you could also buy Goop products because: duh. Who wouldn’t want to get their quads blown out by Tracy Anderson and then their pussy blown out by a $55 vibrator? And hey that’s way cheaper than her others.
Another attendee told Page Six:
“Gwyneth acts like she’s a health goddess, but actually she’s a pretentious, greedy extortionist. She had a ton of security…She was unapproachable. She did the minimum–a few fireside chats with Twiggy and Penelope Cruz, then she put on her Birkenstocks and snuck out…I was a huge fan of Gwyneth; now I feel like I have lost my faith in God.”
A rep for Heaven (Goop) said the physical value of the weekend was $8,000 or more because of the “free extras” including “golden facials” and “far-infrared gemstone therapy”. Far-infrared gemstone therapy… …Bitch…?
And if you think GP is a snob:
“In addition to walking around the summit, she also hosted an intimate workout class with Tracy . . . followed by . . . a panel, where she and Tracy answered attendee questions in an honest, casual setting . . . We have not received negative feedback . . . [It] was more along the lines of, ‘Thanks for an amazing weekend!’“
Yeah! She “walked around” so piss off you whiny shits.