Category: Stop! Thief!

Open Post: Hosted By The Pokemon-Playing Fish Who Committed Credit Card Fraud

January 28, 2023 / Posted by:

Typically, when we think of thieves, we picture characters like Jasper and Horace from Disney’s animated feature 101 Dalmatians or Harry and Marv from Home Alones 1 & 2. Basically, a small, stocky guy who’s sketchy or a tall, lanky guy with ill intentions. However, sometimes the most devious and effective thieves come in a form you would never expect. For instance, a fish. Yep, if a trout had the chance, it would rob you and everyone you cared about! That’s what happened to a YouTuber recently when he discovered that his adorable pet fish were actually scam artists capable of committing credit card fraud!

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Jennifer Lopez Says That The Footage Of Her Serenading Ben Affleck At Their Latest Wedding Was Stolen And Shared Online Without Their Consent

August 29, 2022 / Posted by:

I would’ve bet the cost of an On The JLo newsletter subscription (it’s free) that the first Bennifer wedding leak we’d hear about was the one that Ben Affleck took out back next to the catering van, one eye closed so he could remain upright and avoid toppling over into his own powerful piss stream, cigarette (with 3 inches of ash) that he bummed from a busboy hanging from the side of his mouth. But, it turns out that the footage of Jennifer Lopez serenading Ben that we heard about on Friday was the first (admitted, non-urine) leak–because according to ET Canada, Jennifer commented on a fan’s Instagram post of the clip that it was supposed to be a private moment between the kind-of-recentlyweds, and that whoever took it shared it without their consent.

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“RuPaul’s Drag Race” Contestant Shannel Accused Of Stealing $700 From An Audience Member’s Purse

August 18, 2022 / Posted by:

Drag queen Shannel, best known for appearances on the first seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race and RPDR All Stars, caught shit over a comedic bit where she “steals” tips from the audience. Audience member Megan Gerber has accused the queen of taking $700 out of her purse during a drag brunch performance in Vegas. Megan uploaded footage of the alleged theft to TikTok and so far it has 5 million views. The video shows Shannel rifling through Megan’s purse, fishing out some cash, and returning the purse to her table. Wow! Right in front of cameras and a packed house! To quote Drag Race UK’s Tayce, “The cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity, and the gumption” (IF SHANNEL IS GUILTY).

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The Producers Of “Hamilton” Served A Cease And Desist Order To A Texas Church For Performing An Illegal Version With An Anti-LGBTQ Message

August 9, 2022 / Posted by:

Isn’t one of the Ten Commandments Thou Shall Not Steal? Well, clearly the bibles inside of The Door Christian Fellowship Ministries in McAllen, Texas must have some missing pages because they didn’t get that memo. Recently they decided to keep things within the congregation fresh and hip by performing an unauthorized version of the Broadway smash Hamilton, but they added a few tweaks. Aside from changing a few of the lyrics, they also threw in a lovely message aimed at sinners, including alcoholics and homosexuals, to remind them that God can help them with their problems.

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David And Victoria Beckham’s Home Was Robbed While They Were Inside

March 31, 2022 / Posted by:

Late last month, some sticky-fingered types really wanted to burgle the Beckham home in London. The thieves likely expected to find jewelry, cash, and luxury items waiting for them inside. But little did they know, also located conveniently in the home were David and Victoria Beckham themselves. Don’t worry, David and Victoria are all good. In fact, they didn’t even know someone was inside pilfering all their fancy stuff.

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Dua Lipa Is Facing Two Copyright Infringement Lawsuits Over Her Song “Levitating”

March 7, 2022 / Posted by:

If Robin Thicke’s working relationship with Pharrell back in 2013 has taught anyone in the music industry anything, it’s that you should probably spend just as much time on your beat, melody, and lyrics as you do on making sure as hell that you’re not blatantly ripping off someone else’s song. That’s what happened to them with “Blurred Lines,” and it ended with a huge lawsuit and a $5 million judgment awarded to the plaintiffs. The same thing is currently happening to Dua Lipa, except her situation is a little different. Instead of one lawsuit accusing her of copying a previously established song, there are two lawsuits accusing her of such. So yeah, her lawyers have been busy this month.

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