Despite Kanye West being a boil on the ass of this nation (and Australia without even having stepped foot there), it seems like people are still eager to photograph and record him, most likely in an attempt to catch him acting the fool. On Friday, he did just that (again) when he walked up to the car of a photographer recording him, snatched her phone, and whipped it into the street. She reported the incident to the police, and Ye’s now being investigated for battery, so hopefully, there’s at least one lawyer out there somewhere he hasn’t completely repulsed yet. And though Kim Kardashian was probably secretly elated for him to continue to make her look like the more stable parent to their four children, she was noticeably irritated when a pap asked her to comment on the incident.

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As we know, 64-year-old pop Queen Madonna is going to embark on a tour to celebrate her 40-year music career. Since her Celebration tour begins this July and goes through to December, I’m just hoping that her knee can make it to even September, as her Madame X tour in 2020 had her canceling shows due to “overwhelming pain.” Do you know who else feels that overwhelming pain Madonna went through? Universal Pictures, the studio behind the Madonna-directed Madonna biopic that was shit-canned after her tour was announced. Sources say that Universal knew they were gonna shelf the movie before the tour because it’s been costing them millions and nothing has even happened yet. It looks like the Madonna biopic is already a money-hole, and it didn’t even come out. At least Amsterdam tanked after it got released.

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The McStuffin!

McStuffin may sound like some kind of brain-melting (or crotch throb-inducing, depending on what you’re into) fuck act you’d see on Ronald McDonald’s OnlyFans page. But back in the 1990s, it was the name of something less McGross (or, again, more McGross, depending on what you’re into). The McStuffin was basically a McKnockOff of a Hot Pocket.

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The M&M’s company has been through it recently. First, the green one lost her high-heeled boots resulting in some angry (and horny) right-wingers demanding that the company make their candies sexy again. Then M&M’s introduced a new female purple peanut candy. This incensed the same group who accused the brand of making their candies “obese.” Feeling the ire of the outrage machine, M&M’s announced that they were retiring the spokescandies and melting them into one single chocolate bar as punishment for their crimes. Maya Rudolph would take their place to ease the pain of their loss. If you were distraught by the news and thought the only way you would ever see the sexy green one or the snarky red guy again was through YouTube videos or VHS tapes of commercials in your basement, then wipe those tears away. It’s a dumb Super Bowl stunt.

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It’s been a while since we’ve gotten an update about the trainwreck that was Olivia Wilde’s and Jason Sudeikis’s love lives. For some time, we were inundated with stories of Olivia’s new everlasting love Harry Styles, iffy timelines about who moved on when, custody papers being served at inopportune times, and something about special salad dressing. The story of their breakup hit a crescendo during the press tour for Olivia’s magnum opus, Don’t Worry Darling. Needless to say, it was all too much. Well, the dust has settled and with no films to promote or couples pap strolls to partake in, Olivia and Jason decided that it was about time to hug it out. This is a bigger and more well-scripted twist than the one in Don’t Worry Darling (although that’s not saying much).

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