Open Post: Hosted By Confirmation That M&M’s Is Not Retiring The Spokescandies

January 29, 2023 / Posted by:

The M&M’s company has been through it recently. First, the green one lost her high-heeled boots resulting in some angry (and horny) right-wingers demanding that the company make their candies sexy again. Then M&M’s introduced a new female purple peanut candy. This incensed the same group who accused the brand of making their candies “obese.” Feeling the ire of the outrage machine, M&M’s announced that they were retiring the spokescandies and melting them into one single chocolate bar as punishment for their crimes. Maya Rudolph would take their place to ease the pain of their loss. If you were distraught by the news and thought the only way you would ever see the sexy green one or the snarky red guy again was through YouTube videos or VHS tapes of commercials in your basement, then wipe those tears away. It’s a dumb Super Bowl stunt.

When the statement was released on M&M’s letterhead, many expressed disappointment, others thought it was the right move, and some mused, “Hold on is this another killing Mr. Peanut thing?” The prescient latter group was right. The company is not going to force Maya to shill small chocolates indefinitely. M&M’s stated that the candies are basically going on a hiatus between now and when the first Super Bowl ad airs. via The Takeout:

The New York Times has confirmed what The Takeout surmised from the moment the M&M’s announcement went viral: This is all just a publicity stunt. The spokescandies aren’t actually on “an indefinite pause” as M&M’s claimed, but are instead ramping up for their return during a Super Bowl commercial spot.

“Rest assured, the characters are our official long-term spokescandies,” a brand representative told the NYT via email. “The iconic M&M’s characters are in fact spending some time pursuing their other passions.”

But a commercial airing during the Super Bowl featuring Maya Rudolph will bring back all the erstwhile mascots, even though we’ve barely had time to miss them. The M&M’s rep assured the NYT that the spokescandies will be returned “right where they belong at the heart of the brand.”

Here’s a promo for the ad:

So, there you have it. The reports of Red and Yellow’s deaths have been greatly exaggerated. We can look forward to many more years of chocolate-based hijinks. What headlines will the candies be making this year? Will the purple one get into a throuple with the green and brown ones? Will the orange one start taking pills for his anxiety and moonlight as a spokescandy for Xanax? Only time will tell!

Pic: Mars Inc/PR Newswire

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