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The McStuffin!

McStuffin may sound like some kind of brain-melting (or crotch throb-inducing, depending on what you’re into) fuck act you’d see on Ronald McDonald’s OnlyFans page. But back in the 1990s, it was the name of something less McGross (or, again, more McGross, depending on what you’re into). The McStuffin was basically a McKnockOff of a Hot Pocket.

McStuffin, not to be confused with that cartoon doctor, terrorized bowels for a short time in the 1990s. It came out in 1993 and was pushed as a French bread sandwich-type monstrosity that was stuffed with fillings like chicken teriyaki, BBQ chicken, Philly beef and cheese, and pepperoni pizza. Here’s a McStuffin commercial where McDonald’s calls it “the greatest thing since sliced bread” and wants us to believe that the people were rushing to get their mouths around Ronald McDonald’s latest questionable meat:

Well, unless the secret ingredient in a McStuffin was crack, which is possible coming from Ronald McDonald’s shady ass, that ad was made of 100% lies. Because according to Mashed, nobody was rushing through McDonald’s doors to get that mess. In fact, it flopped during testing, but McDonald’s decided to unleash it onto the world anyway.

While the McStuffin may sound like a great idea on paper, given the incredible success of similar grab-and-go sandwich products, the 1993 McDonald’s menu addition wasn’t so well received. As Insider reports, the fast food giant discontinued the item the same year it debuted — and it probably should have seen this coming. According to writer Nick Davies on Medium, McDonald’s had market-tested the McStuffin in select locations, where it tanked. Nevertheless, the chain decided to launch the product despite its rocky reception. Considering its far deviation from McDonalds’ regular fare of burgers and fries, the McStuffin sort of seemed like a McMisfit from the start.

I never had a McStuffin back in the day, and I don’t think the McDonald’s by my house even carried that shit. But still, I’m shocked it was a McFlop. Because who wouldn’t want to eat something that looks like Ronald McDonald’s clogged-up intestines?

Pic: McDonald’s