Night Crumbs
“Yeah, I’d like a ticket for that movie where Brad Pitt does a stupid jig and then falls off a balcony in his chonies” is not something many people said at the box office this past weekend. Because Damien Chazelle’s Old Hollywood epic Babylon, which stars Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie, flopped hard. Since its release on December 23, it’s made a whopping $4.8 million worldwide, and it cost $80 million to make (that doesn’t include marketing costs). It apparently needs to make $250 million to break even. Maybe Paramount doesn’t have to certify Babylon as a tax write-off bomb just yet. Maybe they can make all their money back by changing the tagline on the poster to read: Piss Off James Cameron This Holiday Season By Buying A Ticket For A Movie That Isn’t Avatar 2! – Pajiba
A source has given us an update on the everlasting love between 48-year-old Leonardo DiCatchAHo and 27-year-old Gigi Hadid and says that they’re keeping things casual because her priority is her child, and she doesn’t have the “energy to run after” him. See, this is why Leonardo’s max dating age is usually 25. Because women over the age of 25 are old, dusty crones who have osteoporosis and bad hips, and can’t physically keep up with an energetic young buck like him. It’s not his fault! – Celebitchy
Kids On TikTok Are Pranking Their Parents With Fake Celebrity Death Announcements
Those no-good TikTok kids are at it again! This holiday season, people are pranking their parents by telling them that their favorite celebrities are dead. The script usually goes as follows — Child, looking at phone: “OMG. Mom!! Bon Jovi reported dead at 60!” Mom: “WHAAAAAAAAAA?!?! NOOOOO!!! I have nothing left to live for!!!!” Child: *snickers* Mom: “Are you joking? I’ll kill you!” The odd time, a particularly clever prankster will throw in a cause of death (lots of car crashes and heart attacks). While these videos are controversial, Newsweek reports that the hashtag #celebritydeathprank has almost 89 billion views on TikTok. Continue reading
Open Post: Hosted By The Abandoned San Francisco Airport Dog Finding His “Furever” Home With A United Airlines Pilot
United Airlines ranks nowhere near the top of any of “The Best Airlines in America” lists (just ask Mayim Bialik), unless you’re a sweet puppy whose first owner decided to inexplicably yeet you from their luggage at San Francisco International Airport. Polaris, a 6-month-old German Shepard, was left at the airport this summer after his human decided to continue their travels without him. Luckily, United Airlines assisted the SPCA in Polaris’ care from abandonment up until he was finally adopted by one of United’s pilots, just in time to have a home for the holidays.
CoCo Posted A Video Of Her 7-Year-Old Daughter Twerking On Christmas And She Got Backlash For It
CoCo is back in the news for her big ol’ butt and boobies! PSYCH. This isn’t 2008; it’s 2022. And everybody knows CoCo makes headlines for being Mom of the Year Century. But CoCo’s methods are ahead of their time, and her parenting is constantly under attack by jealous mommy shamers. See: yesterday, when CoCo posted a video of her 7-year-old daughter, Chanel Nicole, “twerking” during a family Christmas gathering. Page Six reports that CoCo-hating commenters clutched their pearls so hard they burst into a fine, judgmental dust. Oh, please! Like it or not, twerking is the dance of the decade. Were kids shamed for doing the Charleston one hundred years ago? Actually, yes, they were. Huh. I guess that means CoCo/Chanel are making history.
Cher Showed Off A Huge Diamond Ring That Her Boyfriend, Alexander Edwards, Gave Her For Christmas, But A Source Says They’re Not Engaged
Last month, 76-year-old Cher was papped holding hands with 36-year-old music producer Alexander “AE” Edwards, and a minute later, she confirmed that they’re bumping parts full-time and are together. Since Cher is Cher, I’m sure people are always throwing engagement rings at her in hopes of becoming her third husband. But on Christmas Day, Cher tweeted a picture of a gift from AE, and it looked exactly like a big, sparkly engagement ring. And since Cher is Cher, the tweet confused many who didn’t know if the ring was just a Christmas gift or an engagement. According to E! News, Cher’s accountants don’t need to ring her up to say, “Schnap out of it!” because she is not engaged.
Tory Lanez’s Father And Fans Are Really Mad That He Was Convicted Of Shooting Megan Thee Stallion
Canadian rapper Tory Lanez, whose real name is Daystar Peterson, was found guilty last week on all three felony charges against him for shooting Megan Thee Stallion. Now he faces over 20 years in prison, and the Internet has blown up with conspiracy theories about how Tory is a wrongly-accused man. One of Tory’s biggest defenders is his dad, Sonstar Peterson. Not only did Sonstar angrily give a crazed sermon where he blamed Jay-Z for his son’s conviction, but Tory’s fans have also started a petition for his appeal.