Britney Spears’ “Brutally Honest” Memoir Will Be Released This Fall And Will “Shake The World”

April 14, 2023 / Posted by:

Soon, we’ll be able to stop feeling like trainwreck-watching oglers while consuming Britney Spearsevisceration of her family on Instagram. Instead, we’ll get to fancy ourselves intellectual bibliophiles while perusing Britney Spears’ evisceration of her family in her upcoming mem-wah. Because Britney (and her ghostwriter) have finally scrounged up enough paper to hold the many tales of her eventful time in the spotlight. According to Page Six, the memoir will be out just in time for the holidays and will “shock the world” and become an instant best-seller.

As we know, Britney signed a $15 million deal with Simon & Schuster for her life story. Sources say “publishing insiders” are basically creaming their jeans over the final contents of the book that covers Britney’s life from lil’ Louisiana BritBrit all of the way up to her post-conservatorship life with her husband, Sam Asghari.

Publishing insiders have described the manuscript as “inspiring” and a “groundbreaking instant best-seller.”

“Britney’s book is a story of triumph. It will cover her most vulnerable moments, her childhood – being a little girl with big dreams – her breakup with Justin Timberlake, the moment she shaved her head, and her battle with her family over her conservatorship,” said one source.

“It is also a story of survival, finding her way out of the crippling conservatorship to finding happiness with her husband Sam Ashgari.”

Yes, get that reckoning on JT and his ramen-haired loose lips! The ghostwriter that Brit worked with is highly esteemed, so luckily, we won’t have to be combing through walls of highly-emojied text that’s somehow both over and under-punctuated simultaneously a la Brit’s Instagram captions.

We can exclusively reveal that Spears has been working with ghostwriter Sam Lansky, an acclaimed novelist and journalist who has written for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Time and has profiled stars including Madonna, Nicki Minaj and Adele.

The source also says Simon & Schuster is pleased as punch with the “inspirational” and “empowering” final product–as they should be, considering the only deal higher than the $15 million Britney got for this was Barack and Michelle Obama’s.

And her publisher Simon & Schuster is said to be “thrilled” with the yet-unnamed tome, which is now complete and going through final legal revisions for a planned release ahead of the holidays.

The source told us, “Britney’s book is brutally honest and from the heart. No stone is left unturned. Its truly a female empowerment story – her taking control of her life.”

A second publishing source said, “This book is a gift….There are parts of this book that every person—particularly every woman—can relate to and feel less alone. She transforms joy and pain into something transcendent: art.

“This is an inspiring read, not only because it shows the strength of Britney’s spirit, but because her story is told with such style, wit, intelligence, honesty, and without any self-pity. She is entirely winning in these pages.

“This book will….shake the world. I believe that it will also be a groundbreaking instant bestseller.”

Sorry, still no word on Kevin Federline and Jamie Spears’ fatherhood book collab. Oh, to be a fly on the wall of wherever Jamie, Lynne, and Jamie Lynn Spears are when Britney’s book hits the shelves. Actually, walls might not be safe from all of the sprinkle-cheezy grits that will undoubtedly be slung in anger. If the “sources” selling of this allegedly earth-shattering book is accurate, we might all be experiencing this poetic level of “fucking balls, ay!” shock and astonishment:

@brooksallison

fkn balls ay! #britneyspears #remix

♬ holy s f balls britney – boybrooks

Pic: INSTARimages/Cover Images

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