I Guess That Pretty Much Answers The Question: “Is Kerry Washington Pregnant”

When two sources “confirmed” that Kerry Washington had another baby growing in her belly yesterday, I made a joke that Kerry would confirm it herself by posing on the red carpet of the Met Gala with her hand placed on her stomach. And last night Kerry Washington hit the Met Gala red carpet with her hand on her stomach. Although I almost didn’t notice that hand because I was too distracted by that purple hair. Mon Dieu (splashes self with holy water), that hair! I am so conflicted. It’s not permanent (Instagram tells me that those are extensions), so that’s good. It sort of looks like the kind of fake hair you’d find on the floor of the Rock of Love Bus, which makes me want to pour myself a hot mug of penicillin. On the other hand, it looks like it was found on the floor of the Rock of Love Bus, which means it’s 100% pure fake hair perfection.

I’ve known some pregnant people, and one thing I’ve gleaned is that sometimes being knocked up makes you do some crazy things. Case in point: the gorgeous black lace boudoir ensemble Kerry is wearing. I feel like non-knocked up Kerry wouldn’t wear that. But knocked up Kerry? Sure! The more black lace the better. Or maybe this is Kerry’s way of paying tribute to Prince. If Prince designed maternity clothes, I’m almost positive that’s what he’d make.

Kerry didn’t exactly do much with the technology theme, but there were a few people who tried. Let’s start with Demi Lovato.

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Aspiring Scientist Willow Smith Talks Stars And MIT With Teen Vogue

If I had to guess what 15-year-old daughter of famous people/possible alien Willow Smith wanted to be when she grew up, I’d say either Scientology’s official cultural attaché to the Galactic Confederacy or Professional Eccentric Person. You know, like the kind who wakes up at 11am in a pair of custom-made haute couture Moon Shoes, workshops a few philosophical nonsense tweets with her brother Jaden Smith till 3pm, then spends the rest of the evening on a bean bag in the outdoor umbrella tent from Spice World staring at a glow stick and writing a song about a cosmic dolphin.

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Cool Mom Took Her Cool Daughter To The Chanel Show Today

By looking at that picture, you may think that the Chanel show took place in another galaxy where the attendance was all rich aliens. It didn’t. It happened in Paris and was attended by rich humans. Although some aliens did manage to get an invitation, like intergalactic teenage nonsense philosopher Willow Smith and her mom Jada Pinkett Smith.

It’s not exactly a surprise that 15-year-old Willow is hanging out at a fashion show in Paris in the middle of a Tuesday, since the Smith children don’t do regular school. But it’s not like she’s doing it for fun; Willow was just named Chanel’s newest brand ambassador. Plus I’m pretty sure attending a haute couture fashion show is technically considered a field trip in the Smith family’s un-school curriculum. And since it would be irresponsible to send a 15-year-old on a field trip without an adult present, Jada joined her. Jada has apparently moved on from that whole Oscars boycott situation, so she has the time.

I’ve never been to a fancy-ass fashion show, but from what I’ve gathered, it’s proper to show up wearing shit made by the designer. I see that Jada got the memo – although those jeans do look a little Old Navy. But I have no idea what is happening on Willow. She looks like a Scientology superhero designed by John Travolta (“I call her The Incredible Audit“). But if Chanel HBIC Karl Lagerfeld is responsible for what Willow is wearing, and he probably is, then he should probably expect to receive a copyright infringement notice from the producers of Galaxy Quest.

Here’s more of Cool Mom Jada and Cool Teen Willow posing for their lives outside of the Chanel show earlier today.

Pics: Splash

Will Smith Admits That, Yeah, They Probably Gave Their Kids Too Much Freedom

Jaden and Willow Smith, seen above looking like two vintage store-dwelling elves who are about to trick you into trading your soul for a velvet choker and a pair of Fluevog Munsters, are pretty much the unofficial prince and princess of DWTFYW (doing whatever the fuck you want). But unlike other rich kids who got their freedom to do whatever dumb shit they desired by threatening to run away to their summer home in Europe, Jaden and Willow were given full permission from their famous parents, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith.

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Don’t EVER Walk Through Deborah Norville’s Shot

Who knew that Deborah Norville from Inside Edition and that cunt-hearted Hungarian cameralady who tripped those Syrian refugees trained together at the Crazy Bitch Journalist Academy?

Publicists, models, reporters, celebrities and anybody else who dares to step on the same red carpet as Deborah Norville better beware and better come prepared. If you see Debbie The Terrible with a mic in her hand and a camera in her face, you better grab a taser, put on some armor and proceed at your own risk, because she will kick you down if you screw with her shot. Page Six says that Deborah Norville, who has been on Inside Edition since practically the beginning of time, worked a Harper’s Bazaar party in NYC on Wednesday night and a bunch of rude bitches did not give her the respect that she truly deserves.

A witness says that Deborah was interviewing celebrities for a sponsor and she slowly started to rage when rude ass model after rude ass model walked through her shot during filming. Deborah’s rage hit a boiling point and she snapped when a publicist walked through. While keeping a manufactured smile glued onto her face, Deborah kicked the publicist and kept on, kept on…

She’d had enough when “a publicist walked through her shot while she was talking to Jean-Paul Goude,” and “Deborah took out all her anger. She kicked the woman, hard, all while continuing to smile for the camera and ask questions,” a shocked spy said.

Deborah’s terror on the red carpet didn’t end there. The witness says she also hijacked interviews from other reporters:

“A celeb would be going to talk to someone and [Norville] would just bust in, ‘I’m Deborah Norville!’ You’d think it was the Oscars . . . or ‘The Hunger Games,’ ” sniffed a witness. “[She was] practically tackling celebrities.”

Not only was Deborah tackling “celebrities,” but she was also mistaking them for their sister. Deborah apparently screamed “Willow!” when Jaden Smith walked by.

Everybody in this story but Deborah Norville is in the wrong. Interviewing Zzz-listers at some stupid fashion party is a serious and competitive game and you gotta be in it to win it. Deborah is not the one and everyone is lucky she didn’t bring one of her double pointed knitting needles with her. Because she would’ve definitely cut a whore up and stepped over their corpse to interview someone from a show on The CW.

And here’s Ireland Baldwin and Willow Smith outside of that Harper’s Bazaar party.

Pics: Splash

Will Smith And Jada Pinkett-Smith Are Very Much In Love

I think palming her ass was overselling it, huh? Will Smith, wife Jada Pinkett-Smith, and daughter/philosopher-savant Willow Smith attended BET’s “2015 Black Girls Rock!” event on Saturday. Jada received the Star Power Award, and Will introduced her with a tribute to their beautiful heterosexual love. Then he made sure he touched her ass in front of everybody. This was obviously in hopes people would stop assuming he’s Tommy Girl’s permanent +1 down at the Scientology bathhouse.

And boy, did Willy lay it on thick. He mentioned seeing Jada in A Low, Down Dirty Shame, and on A Different World and how he just knew he needed her to beard him and vice-versa to be his lady. He spun a stirring tale of laying up in bed with Jada one morning when he got a Google Alert (after the one about the half-off “Gear For Your Rear” sale on Fort Troff)  that they were getting a divorce. He lay there, thinking of how he would cope if she wasn’t in his life? (Just audition new beards like Cruise did, duh.)

When Jada took the stage, she spoke so many words of wisdom, the most eloquent being something daughter Willow frequently says to her – “I am you. You are me. We are one.” That little girl has ascended past all of us, and should have her own yert in the desert where she can share her truth with the world. Those words didn’t come from her mouth, they came from the shining aura around her! (That family must get the most AMAZING weed.)

Jada SHOULD HAVE received the “Chewing, Swallowing, and Digesting Scenery Award” for her work as Eartha Kitt on Gotham.

Check out pics of Will, Jada and Willow from “BET’s 2015 Black Girls Rock!” event below, as well as snaps of Regina King, Cicely Tyson, Shelia E.(!), Estelle, Jill Scott, Jada’s moms Adrienne Banfield-Jones, Ciara, Tracee Ellis-Ross, Erykah Badu, Janelle  Monae, and that hot bitch Cicely Tyson.