Category: Not The One

Jacki Weaver Has Fighting Words For Angelica Huston For Trashing “Poms”

May 3, 2019 / Posted by:

During Angelica Huston’s wild ride of a messy interview with Vulture, she showed love for Woody Allen and Roman Polanski, but showed no love for Diane Keaton’s choice of doing movies like Poms. You would think that Angelica would have nothing but undying support for her Sister In Supporting Woody. Not to mention, that starring roles for older ladies are few and far between and the good ones are usually snatched up by fucking Meryl Streep. But Angelica looked down at Poms for being humiliating trash. Angelica can say that, because we all know that she’s a serious thespian who only chooses multi-layered roles in culturally significant cinematic masterpieces like Material Girls and Daddy Day Care.

Diane Keaton hasn’t said anything about Angelica Huston dropping a snobby fart on Poms, but she doesn’t have to since her co-star Jacki Weaver has got this. AND HOW! Jacki responded and left a baldheaded Angelica running to the wig store by scalping her while cheering, “Can I get an F? Can I get a U? What’s that spell?!”

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Jamie Lynn Spears Spits Out Fightin’ Words Over The Speculation About What’s Going On With Britney

April 23, 2019 / Posted by:

The #FreeBritney movement held a massive protest (okay, like 20 people) at City Hall in West Hollywood, CA the other day to voice their thoughts about how Brit Brit Spears should be released from the chains and shackles of her over 10-year-long conservatorship. And as that was happening, Brit Brit’s little sister Jamie Lynn Spears was slathering her face with possum grease, sticking razors in her hair, and handing her Juicy Couture backpack purse (you know she still has one) to one of her kids to prepare to fight the tricks who came at her in her Instagram posts for not helping Britney. Those bitches better hide, because we know that junior member of The Not The One Club, Jamie Lynn, is not the one.

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The Fiji Water Girl Is On Jamie Lee Curtis’ Shit List

January 9, 2019 / Posted by:

Kelleth Cuthbert, aka The Fiji Water Girl, may have won the heart of millions and clawed her way into the hallowed halls of Hot Slutdom, but there was one white hot beam of glamour she couldn’t eclipse. Kelleth can go right ahead and scratch “share a THC laced yogurt with Jamie Lee Curtis” off her vision board for good because it’s never gonna happen (it’s still on mine, though). Attention seekers take note: JLC is not the one. And she’s not about to let some corporate shill use her image to sell a gotdamn thing. JLC has been in the business since before she was born, and she knows the game backwards and forwards. But sometimes, even the greats get got. She thought she had successfully avoided getting photographed with the FWG.  Apparently, CNN caught JLC slipping. Her evasive moves to avoid being seen with you know who?, were not 100% successful.

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Olivia de Havilland Legal Tussle With FX Is Done After The Supreme Court Refused To Hear Her Case

January 7, 2019 / Posted by:

The long legal battle between Olivia de Havilland and FX/Ryan Murphy started last year when she clutched and crushed her pearls (RIP those pearls in the above picture) over Catherine Zeta-Jones’ portrayal of her in Feud: Bette and Joan. Olivia thought that Ryan and Co. made her look like a catty gossip, and she felt like it was putting a crack in her image. Olivia also denied ever calling her sister Joan Fontaine a “bitch.” She called her a “babe,” okay!? Olivia filed a lawsuit and after it was thrown out of court after court, it’s been thrown out of the highest court in the land. You might think this means that Olivia’s fight against FX is done, but I’m not so sure. Hell hath no fury like an old rich woman who both has all the time in the world and is running out of time. Lady Justice may have tied Olivia’s hands, but she still gonna git you, Murphy!

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Mr. Feeny (Or The Voice Of KITT If You’re An 80s Kid) Is Not The One 

October 30, 2018 / Posted by:

The list of celebrities whose houses have been broken into is long and gets longer with each passing day. Just in the past couple of months, Christina Milian, Chrissy Metz, Yasiel Puig, Rihanna, and Brandi Glanville have all been hit up. Many of them were hit up by a teenage bling ring. In Hollywood, even the criminal rings get rebooted. Most of those robberies ended with the famous type losing lots of expensive shit, but on Saturday night, the only thing the criminal left with was an almost heart attack from fucking with Mr. Feeny! 91-year-old William Daniels, who played Mr. Feeny in Boy Meets World, Dr. Mark Craig in St. Elsewhere, Dustin Hoffman’s dad in The Graduate, and the voice of KITT in Knight Rider, scared off an intruder who was trying to get into his house.

If the thought of Mr. Feeny loosening his tie and pushing up his blazer sleeves to punch an evil thief in the throat has made your day and you want to keep it that way, stop reading and believe what you want to believe. But if you want to read the not-as-exciting truth of what happened, keep on.

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Carrie Fisher Once Gave An Producer A Severed Tongue For Messing With Her Friend

October 17, 2017 / Posted by:

In the wake of the Weinstein fallout, there is one Hollywood voice that is sadly missed, that of Carrie Fisher. Carrie would probably have so much tea to spill right now they’d have to send snorkels out with the Oscar ballots. Carrie never did truck with no assholes, bullies or fools. She was not the one to be intimidated or let her voice be ignored, and seemed like the kind of person to stick up for others too. And according to her longtime friend Heather Ross, that is exactly the kind of person she was.

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