Category: The Lion King
Duchess Meghan Met Beyoncé At The London Premiere Of “The Lion King”
How nice it must have been for her to be in the presence of royalty. After all, it’s not every day that one meets the indisputable Queen of Music, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter. I’m of course kidding, because I’m sure Beyoncé – a noted Duchess of Sussex fan – was also very thrilled to be meeting a royal like Duchess Meghan.
The Reviews For “The Lion King” Are Looking Grim
Disney had one job to do with their not actually live-action remake of The Lion King and that’s to make sure, at the very least, that everyone watching it felt the love that night. Well, the reviews are in and critics are reporting that not only did they not feel the love, they didn’t feel much of anything. AV Club’s A.A. Dowd called it “Joyless, artless, and maybe soulless” while IndieWire’s David Erlich said it looked like “the world’s longest and least convincing deepfake”. Sounds like the only love to be found in TLK 2019 is sandwiched in between the G and the R in Simba’s voice daddy Donald Glover’s name. I hate to say I told you so (who am I kidding, I love to say I told you so), but I told you so, Disney!
Beyonce Is Putting Out An Entire “Lion King-Inspired” Album
Now we know why Disney decided to do an all-CGI remake (although, it’s supposed to be GAME CHANGING!) of their cartoon movie The Lion King. It isn’t just because those greedy overlords at Disney knew that they could throw their logo on any summertime movie and it’ll allow them to say, “Sure, order four!”, with ease when Mickey Mouse calls asking if he can order another crate of vintage Dom Perignon while partying with his side-hos and Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht in Italy somewhere. They knew that if they got Beyonce to graciously possess the body of a CGI Nala with her ethereal holiness, they might also get her to make an entire Lion King album, and then they’d make even more money.
Well, Mickey Mouse can go ahead and make it rain $1,000 cashiers checks instead of $100 bills on his yacht girls this summer, because Beyonce (and her ghost curators) has curated an entire album inspired by The Lion King.
Open Post: Hosted By The Charisma-less Posters For “The Lion King”
Disney has released the official posters for the live-action The Lion King, and it’s important I specified that these are the posters for The Lion King, because otherwise you might think Dlisted had accidentally re-routed you to a stock image site that specializes in lions and meerkats.
The Lion Speaks Tonight In The New Full Length Trailer For “The Lion King”
For the first time in furstory, RuPaul needs to tell both Mufasa (James Earl Jones) and Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to sashay away. The time came for them to lipsync for their lives, and they both fucked it up. In the first full-length trailer for Disney’s “live-action” remake of The Lion King, it’s impossible to tell what is a voiceover and what is supposed to be coming out of them critters’ mouths. Sorry, Disney. This is not an improvement. I honestly think they’ve made a grave mistake. None of this looks right to me. In the original, Simba smiled to express joy. You cannot have a realistic lion smile, it would be positively ghoulish. So they’ve all got weird, stiff mouths and they should have kept their veils on.
Here’s The Teaser Trailer For The Live-Action Version Of “The Lion King”
The teaser trailer for Disney’s latest minimal effort cash grab, the live-action remake of The Lion King, rolled out yesterday while many of us were busy eating animals. Which is alarming if you think about it. Here’s Disney, trying to get us invested in the inner lives of talking birds and shit, as we’re feasting on the carcasses of their brethren. The sick fucks.