Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have been publicly separated for several hours now, which means it’s time for the PR machine to kick into high gear. If they play their cards right, Miley can squeeze a Country Time Lemonade album out of this current breakup, and she and Liam can be back together by next hot girl summer! People Magazine is conveniently offering two narratives that support that possibility. The first is that Liam is no angel. The second is that nobody’s rushing to file divorce papers just yet because “there is absolutely hope that they will get back together again”, which means this is definitely going to be a Groundhog Day situation and we can expect at least 6 more months of coverage.
Brody Jenner’s former step-mommy must be beaming with pride. Because Brody did good by the Jenner last name, and got himself some attention on social media by piggy-backing off of Miley Cyrus’s recent break-up drama. Of course, it was inevitable that Brody got involved, considering that Miley was spotted kissing his fake wife-turned-ex Kaitlynn Carter after splitting from Liam Hemsworth. Still, it’s got to make his family proud.
Page Six is reporting that after a few months, the undying love of “Peckinsale” is over! Does this mean the shelf life of Pete’s wonder penis is decreasing? He better sprinkle some more MSG down his pants before he locks the next random hottie of his dreams in his intense sights. But good news for us, this might be the last post about these two (no promises).
Since Prince Hot Ginge is in the mood to split things, he should split these cheeks. And just like that, I earned another ten years on my restraining order.
Last October, the rumors of Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan’s feud with Prince William and Duchess Kate started when we all learned that they were splitting up offices. That filled our head with the image of Meghan and Kate fighting over the last Yoplait in the refrigerator and PHG passively aggressively taping a note that read, “This is not YOUR house. I am not YOUR maid. Clean after yourself!,” onto a cabinet in the break room after Kate and William didn’t wash their dishes. And after months of rumors about things between PHG and Willy being tenser than a bodyguard’s butthole whenever Prince Philip took the wheel, it was reported in February that the split of their households was going to happen very soon. Today is that “very soon,” because THE QUEEN has taken a royal machete to their joint court and split that bitch up.
Love don’t come easy, y’all – even for Spock 2.0! I normally don’t spend too much time thinking about Zachary Quinto’s love life since I’m usually too busy wondering how he maintains ‘dem well-coiffed eyebrows. Alas, he’s been with hot model Miles McMillan for six years until earlier this year.
I didn’t even know that Adrian Pasdar and Natalie Maines from the Dixie Chicks had headed to Splitsville (as my mom would say) nearly two years ago, because they were keeping it classy and quiet like real sophisticated grown-ups with children to set an example for. But apparently teacup-sized fashion pigs aren’t flying over Hollywood today, because this split is taking a predictable messy turn. Adrain has flipped his “no more Mr. Nice Guy” switch and is asking the courts to award him over $60,000 a month in spousal and child support from Natalie’s pocket book (or cowboy boot or wherever it is that cowgirls keep their loot).