Put down that plastic water bottle. If you’re planning on saving the tears you’re gonna shed watching Jason Momoa shave off his beard for the first time since 2012, he’s going to need you to eye squirt into an aluminum can instead. Jason walked his fine out into the desert armed with an electric razor and a 4-pack of canned water to plead the case of the aluminum can, which he says can be “infinitely recycled”. Just like Marvel Universe story lines!
Here’s Jason doing a slow face strip-tease (SPOILER ALERT: He has like four face nipples. Weird!):
OK, dimple, nipple, who’s counting?! What’s important is that he’s doing a service for the environment by providing horny birds everywhere with sexy, musky, nesting material. I gotta say, I was worried about it at first but I’m kind of digging the nekkid face. His bone structure is not fucking around! Jason’s so manly though, I feel like he could stick his thumb in his mouth and blow and a full new beard would spontaneously burst forth like a homeless porcupine.
There are very few men who could pull off a man bun, prison pajama bottoms, leather jacket, a hammered copper water bottle with an “antique” patina, and carry a pink satchel though the desert without looking like a complete and utter tool. Yet somehow, instead of yelling “what in the Burning Man hell is this?” like it should, my pussy is all “don’t buy it girl, I’m making enough water right now to fill an ocean”. Jason Momoa did that.