TRUE LOVE IS DEAD. Vanity Fair reports that 92-year-old billionaire Rupert Murdoch and his 66-year-old fiancé, ex-police chaplain Ann Lesley Smith, have called off their engagement. It was just last month that Rupert announced his plans to make Ann his fifth wife, less than a year after divorcing #4, Jerry Hall. Rupert said he was looking forward to “spending the second half of our lives together.” HA! Alas, Marriage #5 was not meant to be. A source tells Vanity Fair that Rupert had become “increasingly uncomfortable” with Ann’s “outspoken evangelical views.” Wait. Ann was too religious and conservative for Rupert Murdoch, the guy behind Fox News?? Dear Jesus!
A sad story is coming out of Italy as screen legend and iconic Italian beauty, 92-year-old Gina Lollobrigida, is in a bit of legal/romantic drama. It seems that her maybe-boy toy/assistant/manager has been accused of stealing millions in money and assets from her. This is why boy toys need to be given an allowance and any requests for more money need to be put in writing. You can’t just hand them the credit cards and pin numbers! You need to keep track.
The Wall Street Journal claimed this week that Lauren Sanchez’s Trump-loving gay brother, Michael Sanchez, sold her out to The National Enquirer for $200,000 by giving them sexts between her and Jeff Bezos. The WSJ also said that Michael gave the Enquirer dick pics that Jeff texted Lauren. Michael denied that he gave Jeff’s dick pics to the Enquirer. But now he’s telling Page Six that he did help the Enquirer with their exposé on Jeff and Lauren allegedly cheating on their spouses by bumping home wrecking fuck parts. Michael claims he made a deal with the Enquirer to help his sister. No word if “sister” is his nickname for his checking account, but one source claims that his acts of greedy buffoonery may have fucked up his sister’s chances at becoming a billionaire’s second wife!
“Honey, can you take off your wedding ring and also let everyone you know that we got divorced, and it’s finalized, thank you, dear,” was uttered by millions of wives everywhere after we all learned that Miranda Lambert is single and ready to mingle with some taken pieces. Oh, naive wives, this is Miranda Lambert we’re talking about. She’s a pro. Ring or not, she knows a dude is married because she can sniff out his “haven’t had sex since my wedding night” scent.
Miranda announced she was done with Evan Felker not long after it was reported that his divorce from Staci Felker had been finalized. So Evan lost a wife, who is apparently not looking to take his skeezer ass back, and a multi-millionaire country star girlfriend who is so not going to put him on one of her tours again, and a source tells People it’s because he broke one of her rules. No, the rule wasn’t: Have a wife.
Two months ago, the low-budget, direct-to-basic-cable reboot of Kevin Federline known as Casper Not-So-Smart once again lost his cushy job as Jennifer Lopez’s ass moisturizer applier/purse holder. At the time, it was rumored that Casper’s name was removed from JLo’s list of regular payees after he failed to fulfill one of his duties as a professional kept bitch. Casper supposedly refused to escort his sugar mami to some party in the Hamptons. But now a source tells People that JLo terminated Casper’s employment after she caught the (alleged) glory hole lothario passing his peen to another AGAIN. Someone needs to retake the intro course at Heather Mills’ Preschool for Aspiring Gold Diggers, because the first rule you learn is to never cheat! The second rule you learn is that if you’re going to cheat, only cheat with a richer mark.
This is the second time in 2016 that we’re talking about Mel Gibson’s gold digger baby mama Oksana Grigorieva. I don’t know what kind of backwards mistake rotation the earth made on New Year’s Eve to cause so many fame whores of the past to get attention in the present.
The last time we talked about Oksana and the horny human catcher’s mitt known as Mel, she asked him to increase his monthly child support payments for their 6-year-old daughter Lucia from $20,000 to over $100,000. Oksana’s really going to be crossing her fingers and praying hard to Saint Sugartits for that child support increase now, because TMZ says an appearance on Howard Stern back in 2013 cost her half a million dollars.