Category: Lana Del Rey

Rolling Stone UK Calls Lana Del Rey The Greatest Songwriter Of The 21st Century

March 10, 2023 / Posted by:

There are still almost 77 years left until the 22nd century, but that didn’t stop Rolling Stone UK from declaring that 37-year-old Lana Del Rey is the greatest songwriter of the 21st century during an interview with her (a big win for the Tumblr girls of 2012). Lana should celebrate by putting her new title from RS UK on a billboard in her ex’s hometown.

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Open Post: Hosted By Lana Del Rey Promoting Her New Album With One Billboard In Her Ex’s Hometown

December 22, 2022 / Posted by:

Lana Del Rey, an ancient Greek siren accidentally transported to modern times, has a new album out in March. It’s called, Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd., which is also the name of the album’s lead single. What’s her next song, “You Know That There’s An Abandoned Subway Station Under Toronto’s Bay Station, Right?” Anywho, TooFab reports that Lana recently took to Instagram to reveal that she put up one billboard to promote her album. Just one. Its location? Tulsa, Oklahoma, which just so happens to be where her ex Sean Larkin lives. Petty, thy name is Del Rey.

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Lana Del Rey’s Car Was Broken Into And Thieves Stole Her Laptop With Her Newest Album And 200-Page Book On It

October 20, 2022 / Posted by:

Banshee Yodel Witch Queen of Sleepy Pop, Yawna–I mean–Lana Del Rey, is here with a message. And it’s not about casting a spell. Lana posted videos on Instagram, explaining how she left her backpack in her car for just a moment, and someone broke her car’s windows and stole her laptop, drives, camcorders, and more. And this is why I carry my shit with me everywhere, everytime–Paranoia saves lives! The laptop included her full 200-page book of poetry and her newest yet-to-be-released album of yodel music. That thief probably put the album on, fell asleep for a full eight hours, woke up from their REM sleep, and realized they stole the motherlode!

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Open Post: Hosted By Lana Del Rey Cheering On A Man Who Sat In A Tub Of Bean Dip For 24 Hours To Promote A Restaurant

March 11, 2021 / Posted by:

People says that Hollywood stuntman and filmmaker Hunter Ray Barker, sat in an inflatable pool filled with bean dip for 24 hours and it wasn’t for fetish reasons. Not totally anyway. Hunter Ray decided to turn his asscrack into a buttrito by filling it with beans to help out a local restaurant amid the pandemic. And a mask-less Lana Del Rey showed up and posed with Hunter Ray as he wasted all those beans in the name of helping a restaurant.

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Some Alleged Text Messages Sent By Marilyn Manson Were Posted To The Internet, In Which He Dragged Lana Del Rey’s Body

February 8, 2021 / Posted by:

It’s another day in Marilyn Manson’s reputational downfall, and today we can all calm that twisty crampy feeling in our stomachs because for once we’re not reporting about what an abusive, awful creep he allegedly is. Today we’re talking about how Marilyn Manson allegedly directing some unfiltered body-shaming hate towards his former friend Lana Del Rey.

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Lana Del Rey Thinks Donald Trump’s Presidency Had To Happen To Expose Earth’s Narcissism Problem

January 12, 2021 / Posted by:

It’s time for yet another episode of Poor Lana Del Rey’s Publicist, in which we all collectively feel really bad for Lana Del Rey’s publicist, aka the person who gets the biggest headache whenever Lana opens her mouth. Yesterday, it was all about Lana’s explanation for why the cover of her latest album, Chemtrails over the Country Club, looked so white. Now she’s talking about Donald Trump, a conversation topic she’s covered before, mostly when she’s been defending herself against accusations that she’s secretly a MAGA. But this time, Lana is giving Trump credit where she believes credit is due, which is his tireless efforts in narcissism awareness.

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