The time has come again this year when certain dog owners proudly march to Petaluma, California, to loudly declare, “I have the world’s ugliest dog!” However, amongst a sea of dogs with weird hair patches and gnarly underbites, only one can be crowned ugliest. And this year’s winner is Scooter, a hairless Chinese Crested dog whose face only a dog mother could love!
Musician and suspected clone Avril Lavigne is having an interesting time when it comes to relationships. Around this time last year, Avril was a happily engaged woman to Razzie winner Mod Sun. But cut to a few weeks ago, and Avril was officially happily single, having unconsciously uncoupled with her ex-fiancé who discovered the news via TMZ photos. Now Avril is happily hooking up with Tyga of rapping and Kardashian drama fame. If only she would drop the rock fashion from 2001 like she drops men!
Leave it to the wealthy to test the limits of taste. Take for example Gigi Hadid’s newly renovated $5.82 million Manhattan apartment where the kitchen cabinets are inlaid with macaroni art and the fruit bowl on the counter is filled with pool balls instead of apples. It’s as tasteless as it is tooth-obliterating. Gigi’s apartment looks like the “luxury” version of Bella Thorne’s Trippy Twins Fun House, and if I wasn’t afraid of contracting Hepatitis C from Other Bella’s place, I’d stay there over Gigi’s confusing “I have too many publicists in my ear lying to me about what’s ‘on trend’” abode. At least Other Bella’s place looks lived in (and fucked in, drugged in, and explosive diarrhea-ed in). There’s nothing honest about Gigi’s pad, least of all the heavily padded invoice her decorator probably wrote out using the giant novelty pen that sits in the corner next to the powder room which is wallpapered in already puckering New Yorker magazine covers.
Burger King invented social distancing crowns. Restaurants are using social distancing bumper tables. Now is the next iteration of post-coronavirus life: social distancing shoes! We’ve moved into the realm of clothing and accessories, people! Take a peep at these ridiculously long shoes which will have people thinking,
“Ew what the fuck are those?” “You know what they say about big feet?”
TikTok Moderators Were Told To Not Promote Posts From Users Who Are Ugly, Poor, Overweight, Or Disabled
Welp, now I know why my TikTok fame never took off. It seems that new leaks of company guidelines have revealed that they don’t really want ugly or poor people being shown on the main page. Only the rich, sexy, gorgeous, and skinny people deserve the promotion. They went above and beyond some “No fats, no fems!” shit.
Nordstrom has the attention of the perpetually outraged today by selling a $530 pair of sneakers which are artfully scuffed and look like they’re being held together with a piece of tape. USA Today claims that shoppers are “outraged” and demanding answers. I get it, glamorizing poverty isn’t a great look, but is that really what’s going on here? Is Nordstrom launching a campaign of terror against poor people by mocking them with unattainable fashion? Or, are they merely scamming wealthy Americans into buying very, very ugly things? Or could there be a third possibility, one with a global reach that cuts to the core of the human condition? We investigate the geopolitical ramifications of the commodification of poverty in this special report titled: Rich Shoe/Poor Shoe.