Ben Affleck and the newly crowned Jennifer Lynn Affleck (a.k.a Jennifer Lopez) have taken their marriage on tour and are currently
stunting vacationing in Europe. If the world doesn’t yet know that they’re officially together, they will visit every country on earth to make it known! They touched down in France a few days ago and put on a SHOW for the people. We expect no less from the earth’s premier pap stroll trailblazers. However, it looks like the 5,243,000 photos they took to document their love knocked the wind out of Ben as he was caught sleeping on the job. Someone get this man a Box O’ Joe from Dunkin’ Donuts before JLo finds out!
No matter how weird he gets, women keep marrying Nicolas Cage. His latest wife is 27-year-old Riko Shibata, who said “I do… want to eventually divorce you” to Nicolas last February. But Nicolas, 57, says Wife #5 Riko is a keeper. He tells The Los Angeles Times, “I know five is a lot, but I think I got it right this time.” Awww, bless your heart, you old five-timer, you!
Last week Meghan Trainor went viral for a really shitty reason. During a podcast appearance, she dropped the bomb that she and her husband, Spy Kids boy Daryl Sabara, had two toilets installed side by side so they could do their business together. 27-year-old Meghan explained that she and Daryl, 29, have peed together a bunch, but only done couple’s-poop-time twice. Ah, such restraint. Meghan got a lot of crap for the story, and now she’s posted a video on TikTok poking fun at her embarrassing leak.
Meghan Trainor went on Nicole Byer’s podcast, Why Won’t You Date Me?, and revealed that she and her husband of almost three years, Daryl Sabara (of Spy Kids boy fame), had two toilets installed next to each other so they can go to the bathroom at the same time. It’s official! Urban Dictionary is changing T.M.I. to stand for: Two Toilets, Marriage, and I Didn’t Need To Know That!
David Rush is a man from Idaho who’s broken more than 150 Guinness world records, including the farthest tortilla throw, the longest time to balance a hoe on his nose, AND the fastest half-marathon while skipping. Yep. All the dumb, super-specific ones. David says he does all this shit to promote STEM education. His latest world record attempt is the fastest time to wrap a human being in plastic wrap. Specifically his wife, Jennifer.
The couple originally set the record back in 2019, completing the feat in just 1 minute and 57 seconds. But their title was soon STOLEN! by another couple with too much time on their hands. Those two completed the stunt in 1 minute and 29 seconds. Obviously, David couldn’t let that stand, so he re-wrapped long-suffering Jennifer in plastic wrap to take back his title. This time he practically halved his time at just 1 minute and 2.44 seconds. Wow, either David upped his wrapping time, or Jennifer lost half her body weight since 2019.
Dominic West And Wife Catherine FitzGerald Insist Their Marriage Is “Strong” In Response To Those Lily James Pap Pics
Yesterday Dominic West, married father of five, was outed as a cheater cheater pumpkin eater after he was papped rubbing up on 31-year-old actress Lily James in Rome. The two co-stars of the upcoming BBC One miniseries The Pursuit of Love (um, great exposure, by the way) allegedly stayed at a hotel together the entire weekend. Apparently, this was brand new information to Dominic’s wife of ten years/mother to four of his kids, Catherine FitzGerald. A source claimed she was “devastated” and under the impression they had a “good marriage”. And goddamn Dominic wasn’t even answering her calls! Women everywhere replied with cringe-face, “awww, sweetieeee”, and a “thiiis motherfucker”.
Welp, time to double down on that cringe-face, because today 50-year-old Dominic (sans wedding ring) and 49-year-old Catherine (left hand in pocket) marched out to the front of their London home, delivered a signed note to reporters that said, “Our marriage is strong and we’re very much still together”, and smiled and kissed for the cameras. Huh, they went with The Good Wife approach!