People Keep Pooping During Performances Of Broadway’s “Some Like It Hot”, And Last Week It Happened Near Hillary And Chelsea Clinton
Last week, Hillary Clinton and Chelsea Clinton went to the Shubert Theatuhhh on Broadway to see the new musical adaptation of Some Like It Hot. Unfortunately, this lovely mother-daughter outing was soiled by a nefarious Number 2-er! Page Six reports that, when the lights came up at intermission, two “human turds” appeared in the aisle “just near” Hillary and Chelsea. Two Clintons? Two poops? It doesn’t take the brilliant investigative mind of Nancy
Drew Poo to deduce the identities of the deuce-droppers. LOCK HER(S) UP! But, according to the theater’s house manager, this is actually the fourth time someone has pooped during a performance of Some Like It Hot. So it sounds like we got ourselves a good ol’ fashioned phantom pooper.
Open Post: Hosted By The Dog Who Pooped On The Court During A Halftime Performance At A College Basketball Game
A dog tasked with show-ponying at the Virginia Tech-Louisville game earlier this week went viral for leaving it all on the court! The unidentified dog–who is apparently a very good frisbee girl or boy–stopped during its big halftime performance without even spinning around aimlessly 19 times to find the perfect spot first, and got right to work chopping a log while probably maintaining intensely guilty eye contact with its handler. Elton, the diva dog, would never participate in such filthy behavior!
Matt Damon Talked About The Time Kennedy Center Honoree, George Clooney, Shit In Richard Kind’s Cat’s Litter Box
The 45th Annual Kennedy Center Honors already happened earlier this month, and those who’ve given us a lifetime of contributions in the entertainment arena, like U2 and George Clooney, were some of this year’s honorees. And if by “lifetime contributions” they meant “your iTunes is still fucked all the way up and always will be for the rest of your lifetime by the unsolicited disbursal of U2’s Songs of Innocence album,” then yeah, I guess U2 qualifies. But not to be outdone by U2’s tomfoolery, honoree, and one of the “world’s most handsome men,” George Clooney also did some shady shit in his storied time in the biz–literally. While giving a speech about his good friend, George, Matt Damon’s KCH speech touched on the time that George took a big girthy dump in fellow actor Richard Kind’s kitty litter box back in the day when they were roommates. Stars–they’re just like us!
Meghan Trainor And Her Husband Have Two Toilets Next To Each Other
Meghan Trainor went on Nicole Byer’s podcast, Why Won’t You Date Me?, and revealed that she and her husband of almost three years, Daryl Sabara (of Spy Kids boy fame), had two toilets installed next to each other so they can go to the bathroom at the same time. It’s official! Urban Dictionary is changing T.M.I. to stand for: Two Toilets, Marriage, and I Didn’t Need To Know That!
Open Post: Hosted By Madonna’s Port-A-Potty Photoshoot
Nothing says “hot hygienic glamour” like flashing your ass in and around a Port-a-Potty during COVID-times. This is exactly what COVID survivor Madonna did for her latest photoshoot for… I’m not sure. Madge posted a behind-the-scenes video of the shoot set to Patti Smith’s cover of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, and, to give credit where credit’s due, hashtagged Patti, her 26-year-old dancer boy toy Ahlamalik Williams (who sex-poses with her against a chain link fence), and Curt (sic) Cobain. She managed to write Kurt’s name correctly on her Instagram, so I guess the fillers only seeped into the spelling part of her brain for a hot sec on Twitter.
Pottermore Says That Wizards Used To Just Shit On The Floor At Hogwarts
Harry Potter fans just can’t let the series rest, and as long as author J.K. Rowling is alive, they will harass her for any scrap of wizarding info she can throw down their thirsty muggle throats. On the Harry Potter fan site Pottermore, fans got a bit more than they bargained yesterday, on National Trivia Day, when it was revealed that before Hogwarts had plumbing, wizards used to shit and pee wherever they were standing and then vanish the evidence with magic. 99% of Harry Potter fans are disgusted by this news. The other 1% just started their own special Harry Potter fan site for wannabe wizard nerds that are also into anachronistic poop play. Continue reading