If the word “regret” were a person, it would be Scream mask faced Elon Musk. His financial woes began as soon as he decided he wanted to assassinate Twitter, and it is a move that has literally been costing him billions of dollars. And now, one of the worst decisions in history since the movie version of Cats has gotten Elon the prestigious distinction of entering the Guinness Book of World Records with the “largest loss of personal fortune,” and I can guarantee you this isn’t something he’ll be quick to tweet about.
Introducing Flossie, the current Guinness World Record-holder for the oldest living cat at 26 years and 316 days, to be precise. Flossie, who has since turned 27, was recently adopted by Vicki Green, who got her from Cats Protection, a British kitty charity. Cats Protection employee Naomi Rosling says she was “flabbergasted” when Flossie’s vet records revealed she was almost 27. Vicki says she knew Flossie was special but had no clue she’d be sharing her home with world record holder. Suuure. Vicki probably scoured the Internet looking for the oldest cat possible, all in a sick attempt to be a part of a Guinness World record. Sweetie, if you want a record that badly, go see Spider-Man 292 times in theaters like a normal person!
Open Post: Hosted By The 50-Year-Old Woman Who Broke The World Record For Bungee-Jumping The Most Times In One Hour
Bungee jumping and sky diving are my worst nightmares. Why would you wanna plunge from a towering height to your (possible) death? I don’t care how many Amazing Race contestants walked away unscathed; look what happened to Peggy Hill! But, apparently, people love that thrill-seeking shit. See: Linda Potgeiter from South Africa, who just broke the Guinness World Record for bungee-jumping the most times in 1 hour. 50-year-old Linda managed to make 23 jumps, which is one
death wish jump every two and a half minutes! Continue reading
Ramiro Alanis, a Marvel-obsessed super fan from Florida, has set the record for “most cinema productions attended of the same film” after seeing Spider-Man: No Way Home 292 times between December 16 2021 and March 15 of this year. That’s only 90 days. By that math, Ramiro would’ve had to watch the movie 3.24 times a day (eight hours!) and he says he shelled out $3,400 for tickets. I have so, so many questions (most of them begin with, “WHY?!?”), but, as someone who’s watched, like, 50 episodes of Frasier in the last week, I have no right to judge. Continue reading
David Rush is a man from Idaho who’s broken more than 150 Guinness world records, including the farthest tortilla throw, the longest time to balance a hoe on his nose, AND the fastest half-marathon while skipping. Yep. All the dumb, super-specific ones. David says he does all this shit to promote STEM education. His latest world record attempt is the fastest time to wrap a human being in plastic wrap. Specifically his wife, Jennifer.
The couple originally set the record back in 2019, completing the feat in just 1 minute and 57 seconds. But their title was soon STOLEN! by another couple with too much time on their hands. Those two completed the stunt in 1 minute and 29 seconds. Obviously, David couldn’t let that stand, so he re-wrapped long-suffering Jennifer in plastic wrap to take back his title. This time he practically halved his time at just 1 minute and 2.44 seconds. Wow, either David upped his wrapping time, or Jennifer lost half her body weight since 2019.
Every Christmas when I was a kid my mom would get me the new Guinness Book of World Records. The book from the year 2000 was ~silver~, so yes, very exciting and fancy. The best picture in each edition was always the person with the longest nails. They’d proudly present their curly, long, yellowed-from-age talons as though this was the thing everyone was striving for. The real American dream. And ya know what? Good for them. But even heroes have their limits, and Ayanna Williams, who held the record for longest fingernails on a pair of hands, decided nearly 30 years with these suckers was long enough. So she went to the doctor and got them sawed off. RIP to ten coiled, keratinous souls. Continue reading