Open Post: Hosted By Demi Moore Submitting Her Chihuahua, Pilaf, For The Guinness World Record For Shortest Dog
Earlier this week, a two-year-old chihuahua named Pearl was officially crowned the world’s shortest dog by Guinness World Records. Most of the world went, “Awwww!” But not Demi Moore. She took one look at Pearl, spit on the ground, and said, “JUSTICE FOR PILAF!” Pilaf is Demi’s pocked-sized chihuahua and People reports that Demi is thinking about submitting her baby for the Shortest Dog world record. Watch out, Pearl, a nepo baby’s coming for your gig!
I’m an escapist; gimme a bottle of red wine and some Real Housewives of Miami, and I can successfully forget my woes for several hours. But there’s another level of escapism I have yet to reach, and that is becoming a Disney adult. Someone obsessed with the parks, the characters, the dream of happily ever after. See: the recently engaged Rebel Wilson. Arrested development or innocent fun? I guess it depends on the person. Jeff Reitz’s Disney obsession might be described as “all-consuming.” Guinness World Records reports that 50-year-old Jeff, from Huntington Beach, California, made 2,995 consecutive daily visits to Disneyland from 2012 to 2020. It’s a record, and the only reason Jeff’s run was broken was because the park closed due to COVID-19. Huh. Good things did come out of the pandemic!
Apparently, the world is teeming with very old dogs! If you recall, about two weeks ago, Spike the chihuahua was officially declared the world’s oldest dog at the age of 23. Spike is old enough to drink around the world legally. However, this announcement brought every ancient canine out of the woodwork to declare that THEY were actually the most geriatric of them all. Well, Spike has had to cede his throne because we’ve got a new world’s oldest dog: Bobi, who is a whopping 30 years old! Bobi is as old as My Cousin Vinny!
If the word “regret” were a person, it would be Scream mask faced Elon Musk. His financial woes began as soon as he decided he wanted to assassinate Twitter, and it is a move that has literally been costing him billions of dollars. And now, one of the worst decisions in history since the movie version of Cats has gotten Elon the prestigious distinction of entering the Guinness Book of World Records with the “largest loss of personal fortune,” and I can guarantee you this isn’t something he’ll be quick to tweet about.
Introducing Flossie, the current Guinness World Record-holder for the oldest living cat at 26 years and 316 days, to be precise. Flossie, who has since turned 27, was recently adopted by Vicki Green, who got her from Cats Protection, a British kitty charity. Cats Protection employee Naomi Rosling says she was “flabbergasted” when Flossie’s vet records revealed she was almost 27. Vicki says she knew Flossie was special but had no clue she’d be sharing her home with world record holder. Suuure. Vicki probably scoured the Internet looking for the oldest cat possible, all in a sick attempt to be a part of a Guinness World record. Sweetie, if you want a record that badly, go see Spider-Man 292 times in theaters like a normal person!
Open Post: Hosted By The 50-Year-Old Woman Who Broke The World Record For Bungee-Jumping The Most Times In One Hour
Bungee jumping and sky diving are my worst nightmares. Why would you wanna plunge from a towering height to your (possible) death? I don’t care how many Amazing Race contestants walked away unscathed; look what happened to Peggy Hill! But, apparently, people love that thrill-seeking shit. See: Linda Potgeiter from South Africa, who just broke the Guinness World Record for bungee-jumping the most times in 1 hour. 50-year-old Linda managed to make 23 jumps, which is one
death wish jump every two and a half minutes! Continue reading