Julia Fox is a verifiable boob magician (a “titgician,” if you will) at this point, wearing confusing look after confusing look where they’re one sneeze away from freedom, all in a bid to miraculously extend the 15 minutes she was granted after strangely pronouncing the name of a movie she was in (“UNCUH JAMS”) and valiantly rescuing Kim Kardashian from Kanye West by “dating” him. She recently sawed them in half with whatever fug dress she wore with bootleg kabuki makeup at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and on Sunday, she set the titty free by wearing a completely see-through glass-look top at the Cannes Film Festival Art of Elysium 25th anniversary party.
Janelle Monáe Has Gone Viral For Her Sexy New Music Video (And For A Clip Of Her Flashing Her Titties)
Janelle Monáe has a new album coming out next month, The Age of Pleasure, and she just released the video for her new single, “Lipstick Lover”. Billboard describes the sexy vid as “a savory visual highlighting [Janelle’s] adoration for women”. Translation: so many butts, so many boobs. Obviously, this entire post is NSFW (NippleS & Fannies [not the British kind], Woohoo)!
Everybody thinks Canada is sooo boring, but guess what? At last night’s Junos (our Grammys), there were titties. Real, live, totally spontaneous titties! CTV reports that, while Avril Lavigne (our Pink) was presenting musician AP Dhillon, a topless activist sauntered up on stage with messages like “Save the Greenbelt” and “Land Back” written on their body. Don’t worry; they kept things tasteful; the nips were covered with pasties. But Avril didn’t appreciate this thoughtful touch. When security got onstage to escort the topless vigilante away, Avril flicked their boob with her hands and said, “Get the fuck off, bitch!” Hmmm, if Avril were a real punk, she would’ve handed the streaker the mic and let ’em stick it to the man!
BREAKING NEWS: The Daily Mail reports that one of Mary Magdalene’s 38J 11-pound titties has exploded, rendering her uniboobed. I know what you’re thinking: “Not Mary Magdalene the saint?!” No, not Mary Magdalene the saint. She’s dead and peaked at a 34B (the Bible tells me so). I’m talking about Mary Magdalene the 30-year-old Canadian influencer who’s become famous in pervert circles for her plastic surgery addiction.
Madonna Kept Her Instagram Mess Train Rolling By First Going Topless And Then Posing As A Sexy Zombie
As we all know, Madonna is still horny as hell and recently asserted that over the past 30+ years, she’s paved the way for artists like Cardi B and others to be inspired by their own dewy nethers. Her preferred medium for expressing her insistence that she’s still got it is Instagram, and she made sure to keep her recent posts seasonally appropriate by giving us “boo!” spooks when she displayed her Madgebags with precariously placed emojis over her nips and then followed that up by posting an unsettling clip of her as a thirsty zombie.
Open Post: Hosted By Tori Spelling Getting Her Expired Breast Implants Replaced On Her Streaming Show
Say “ta ta!” to Tori Spelling’s old tatas, cuz they are gone, baby, gone. 49-year-old Tori had been sporting the same pair of breast implants for over 20 years, and Us Weekly reports that this past February, she got them switched out for a new, updated set (now with 21st-century nipples!). And, because Tori can’t so much as fart without documenting it, her consultation was filmed for tonight’s episode of @Home With Tori. Only on… (checks notes) a free streaming platform called Vizio! Hopefully, the plastic surgeon gave Tori a (much needed) discount for all that free Vizio press. Win/win. Continue reading