Here’s Taylor Swift’s Latest “Midnights” Video Release For “Lavender Haze”
Only being a casual observer of Taylor Swift’s oeuvre, I have no option but to take her new video for Lavender Haze from the Midnights album at face value. However, according to Elle, “there are ample Easter eggs in it referencing her past, lyrics, and possible future music releases.” And in a way, that much was clear even for someone like me who is more familiar with Taylor’s work as a semi-professional litigant and in Cats. Taylor’s as rich as the day is long, so no matter the cost of eggs in #thesetryngtimes, it’s no wonder she’s been hoarding them for Lavender Haze. Because as far as I can tell, Taylor spends the entirety of the video crop-dusting her lover, herself, and her new Diversity 2.0 posse of pals with her visibly noxious, rotten Easter egg farts. I never want to hear about Taylor not sacrificing her vanity for her art ever again. She nasty!
Lavender Haze is the first track on Midnights, and the video she cooked up in her Dutch oven was “served up [as] a surprise treat for her fans” at the stroke of midnight. Here’s what she had to say about her midnight emissions on Twitter.
This was the first video I wrote out of the 3 that have been released, and this one really helped me conceptualize the world and mood of Midnights, like a sultry sleepless 70’s fever dream. Hope you like it 😁https://t.co/auFTSVBP0A
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) January 27, 2023
Taylor says she first heard the term Lavender Haze while watching Mad Men. Elle reports:
I looked it up because I thought it sounded cool. And it turns out that it’s a common phrase used in the ’50s where they would describe being in love. If you’re in the ‘lavender haze,’ then that meant you were in that all-encompassing love glow. And I thought that was really beautiful.”
She added, “I guess, theoretically, when you’re in the ‘lavender haze,’ you’ll do anything to stay there. And not let people bring you down off of that cloud. I think that a lot of people have to deal with this now, not just like ‘public figures,’ because we live in the era of social media, and if the world finds out if you’re in love with somebody they’re going to weigh in on it. Like my relationship for six years we’ve had to dodge weird rumors, tabloid stuff, and we just ignore it. So this song is about the act of ignoring that stuff to protect the real stuff.”
Only a true wordsmith like Swift can give you 300 different meanings for the word “stuff” using just the word “stuff.” HER MIND. Here’s the video. I’ll hip you to the supposed Easter eggs later. But what I will say is; at least Taylor was considerate enough to light a match before pooting the greatest poot to ever poot since 1972 when a man named Alvin Meshits (me shits you not) ripped a world record holding butt bomb that clocked in at 194 decibels. But Taylor’s an artist, first and foremost. So while her Lavender Haze is powerful enough to be seen and smelt from space, it’s not ear-splitting in the same way Mr. Meshits’ was.
And that, my friends, is how a lady (f)arts. But while you were busy imagining what Taylor ate to create such an intoxicating odor that an entire room full of diverse party-goers experienced collective amnesia about the video for You Need To Calm Down, Swifties were busy examining every frame in search for any meaning other than the obvious, which is, once again — She nasty! For example, where I see a goatse about to go down, Swifties see THE NUMBER 13 (AND OTHER NUMBERS):
THERES A 13 OVER NASHVILLE in the lavender haze music video! so far the only non obvious easter egg i’ve found pic.twitter.com/i5XfFD1voS
— ale 🧣💎 (@aletoowelll) January 27, 2023
The 60th, 66th, 70th, and 78th day of the year are all in March. Something tells me that a busy month is in the forecast 👀#LavenderHazeMusicVideo pic.twitter.com/4yJpXMIO3b
— Alyssa | fan account (@StarsNScars13) January 27, 2023
Where I see signs of a messy bedroom that stinks, Swifties see signs of ASTROLOGY AND WITCHCRAFT:
The incense that they're going to have to clean off the vinyl shelf because they lost track of time (again). #LavenderHazeMusicVideo pic.twitter.com/citmEHDiv7
— Ally-mai (@Allymai_) January 27, 2023
Ok in Lavender haze MV there’s Easter eggs for maroon (incense) master mind (vinyl with aligned stars making Sagittarius and Pisces signs aka Taylor and Joe star signs ) and the lakes (wisterias) found so far
— jomana ( taylor’s version ) (@Jomana26623722) January 27, 2023
Where I see a hot piece who was paid to hold their breath and flex to the beat of Taylor’s toots, Swities see REPRESENTATION:
The love interest in Taylor Swift’s new Lavender Haze music video is trans model and artist Laith Ashley. At a time when trans rights are increasingly under attack, this representation is major. pic.twitter.com/5n1F6aSGiP
— Ashley Spencer (@AshleyySpencer) January 27, 2023
if it wasn't for the lavender haze music video I wouldn't have known that laith ashley exist 🤧🥵 pic.twitter.com/5PEg4NBfUi
— kiano in a lavender haze 💜 (@_18nz) January 27, 2023
OK, well, I see it now. My apologies. Hairy chest meat representation MATTERS. But where I see Taylor standing in front of a green screen “acting,” Swities see SHE-HULK.
She’s so strong pushing that wall down by herself #LavenderHazeMusicVideo
— malak (@malaksharia13) January 27, 2023
she said ENOUGH WITH THAT DAMN HOUSE #LavenderHazeMusicVideo pic.twitter.com/QlhdK2iJjB
— 🅴ggsie🍆 (@novemberhaze) January 27, 2023
I’m sure there are plenty more examples of Taylor’s genius that I missed, but I’m not wading through the twists and turns of her kaleidoscopic colon again to find out. Suffice to say, I think the reality is that Taylor’s Lavender Haze is stunning, visually and olfactorily.