Two of the greatest joys in life are 1) eating chocolate and 2) eating cheese. The pleasure one derives when biting into a decadent yet creamy piece of chocolate or cramming a triple-cheese pizza into your mouth cannot be compared. Knowing this simple fact of life, gourmet chocolate company Compartés decided to use this knowledge for evil and create an unholy combination: the TruffVel. And it’s just in time for Mother’s Day (if you hate your mom)!
Horrible news for believers in true love but great news for companies who make antibiotics (since a single Machine Gun Kelly may openly be on the loose again). The discount Pam and Tommy Lee, MGK, and Megan Fox, may be over. Actually, I shouldn’t even say “may” because Megan Fox has wiped MGK from her Instagram, and that’s a bigger break-up sign than her cutting off her finger with her trapped engagement ring on it. And before Megan let the world know that she’s probably single for now, MGK let us know that during a recent performance, he got electrocuted, and that may be code for “I got dumped.”
The next time you step into your local cinema and get that sticky floor feeling with every step, be aware that it might not be spilled Coca-Cola. There’s a new film out for the Halloween season, and it’s supposedly getting everyone sick all over the place. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the movies! The horror flick in question is Terrifier 2, and according to viewers (or the press team, depending on how much you believe this stuff), is so graphic that some people have passed out or thrown up on themselves. Ah, the smell of sawdust and last night’s chicken pot pie really adds to the date night ambiance.
Jonathan Van Ness Responds To The Backlash Surrounding Their “Queerbaiting” Promo Stunt With Antoni Porowski
As mentioned in Crumbs last week, Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness and Antoni Porowski were accused of queerbaiting while promoting their new pet food company, Yummers. Wait, can queer people queerbait? I’ll let you be the judge, as we deep dive into the JVN + Antoni Faking A Relationship To Sell Yummers Saga! Heads up: if you’re recovering from any kind of eye surgery, I’d advise you to skip this one, cuz your peepers will undoubtedly be rollin’… Continue reading
HEAVILY PREGNANT no more! At around midnight, Lil Nas X shot his debut album out his bussy, and Montero was born. The Gay Agenda is a godparent! Or maybe a satanparent, considering the father’s proclivities. Or should I say pole-liclivites. You know, because of the stripper pole to Satan’s cock pipeline? Either way, Lil Nas celebrated his album’s debut in the silliest way possible, keeping the pregnancy gag going all the way to the delivery room, because he has no damn sense. But what he lacks in sense, he more than makes up for in gumption. In the delivery video, a mini dance break occurs when DaBaby slides out of Lil Nas’s bussy. He also released a surprisingly poignant video for the single That’s What I Want, directed by Bad Bunny’s creative director Stillz.
Being left out of the conversation during The Great Chicken Sandwich Wars of 2019 must have been devastating for the marketing department at KFC. So, rather than simply make a sandwich that people are excited to eat, they’ve reached back into their bag of corporate stunts. Previous stunts included an 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog and chicken-scented platform Crocs which have cost Michael K tens of thousands of dollars in experimental electroconvulsive therapy treatments. For their most recent stunt, KFC is pulling a Taco Bell by opening a pop-up hotel in London where the rooms look like a cross between a greasy brothel, and what’s behind a random door that Satan makes you pick when you first arrive in hell. There’s also a button you can push for all-you-can-eat chicken delivered to your room. So welcome to the House of Harlan where you can check out any time you want, but you can never thieve. The chicken. Because it’s already free.