You may not know this, but Madonna has a huge obsession with sex. And if you will recall, thirty years ago, she became a pioneer of softcore story time when she released a picture book titled, you guessed it, S.E.X. Over the weekend, Madge took to Instagram to let everyone know she should be praised for being the originator of orgasms during a time when sex was kind of a taboo subject. And during her gentle reminder, she named Kim Kardashian and Cardi B as folks who are doing what she did back when cordless phones were the new technology (God, we’re old). Well, Cardi didn’t take too kindly to Madge’s words and immediately said something. But now, their war is over before it could even really begin.
According to Variety, Madge reminded everyone over the weekend that, yes, there is a book out there where she has her tits on display for the world to see. However, she did it way before everyone else and has yet to receive her flower-shaped pasties in tribute to making sex more acceptable in mainstream media.
“30 years ago I published a book called ‘S.E.X.’ In addition to photos of me naked there were photos of Men kissing Men, Woman kissing Woman and Me kissing everyone,” Madonna wrote in an Instagram story post on Saturday. She went on to highlight the intense criticism she received at the time of the book’s publication. “Now Cardi B can sing about her WAP. Kim Kardashian can grace the cover of any magazine with her naked ass and Miley Cyrus can come in like a wrecking ball.”
Honestly, she could have just stopped right there, but instead, she ended her caption with “You’re welcome bitches” and a clown emoji.
madonna gently setting the record straight for the kids who think she just makes silly tiktoks pic.twitter.com/dzu3lsYf5z
— matt (@mattxiv) October 22, 2022
Madge’s biggest mistake was bringing Cardi’s name into it because we all know she’s like Rumpelstiltskin. As soon as she hears her name, she pops up like the sexy little gnome she is ready to bark and bite.
“I literally [paid] this woman homage so many times cause I grew up listening to her… she can make her point without putting clown emojis and getting slick out the mouth,” Cardi said, captioning a screenshot of a 2018 article in which she praised Madonna. “These icons really become disappointments once u make it in the industry that’s why I keep to myself.”
This is when the Emperor of Instigation, Jason “Not My Name Is Earl” Lee of the gossip site Hollywood Unlocked swooped in on his own wrecking ball to level the situation by speaking with both Cardi and Madge to end their mini beef as quickly as possible. And, of course, he couldn’t just do it behind the scenes. He had to ensure EVERYONE realized he knows them both and helped with their peaceful negotiation.
On the phone with Madonna and Cardi. Listening to both women share their perspective on the communication going on has broadened their love for each other. Love this [signed a fly on the wall] @iamcardib
— Jason Lee (@theonlyjasonlee) October 23, 2022
Now they’re both friends again, praising one another for basically ending something that sounds like a battle between two bored twelve-year-olds.
I talked to Madonna …It was beautiful 🥲….Have a great day and drive safely yallll😘
— Cardi B (@iamcardib) October 23, 2022
I love you @iamcardib !! ♥️
Always have and always will.
— Madonna (@Madonna) October 23, 2022
Fast forward to next week when Madge and Cardi release a song titled Clown Bitches where Madge dry sings, and Cardi raps about how Madge is the G.O.A.T. and everyone else is trash compared to the two of them. I approve, just as long as Madge doesn’t enter into a twerk battle with Cardi during the video. Pioneer or not, none of us want to see Madge’s new ass skyrocket toward the heavens as she tries to keep up with Cardi.