Category: The Flash

Warner Bros. Is Really Pushing “The Flash” And Its Trailer Will Debut During The Super Bowl

December 23, 2022 / Posted by:

Warner Bros. Discovery is breaking a 17-year absence from having promos at the Super Bowl this year by once again spending millions of dollars to get their programming in front of millions of people waiting to see Rihanna perform her halftime show. And the movie getting the righteous honor is none other than the DC superhero flick, The Flash, starring noted predator Ezra Miller, who tore up Hawaii and has been accused of various types of assaults and harassment, and grooming of children. And two months ago, Ezra pleaded not guilty to burglary charges. I don’t know what happened at that meeting with Warner Bros. back in August, but Ezra has truly become the favored darling demon child.

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Ezra Miller Pleaded “Not Guilty” To Burglary And Larceny Charges In Vermont

October 17, 2022 / Posted by:

Hard to believe but after all the wild shit Ezra Miller has been accused of over the past two years, including but not limited to assault, harassment, grooming children, supplying a child with alcohol and LSD, brainwashing said child, disorderly conduct, sexual abuse, terrible performance art, improperly stored weapons, starting a cult, burglary, larceny and countless crimes against fashion, the only penalty Ezra has faced so far has been having to pay a $500 fine (plus $30 in court costs) after they pleaded “no contest” to the assault charge they picked up in Hawaii. But Deadline reports that Ezra can add a “not guilty” plea to their impressive criminal resume.

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Ezra Miller Was Back At Work Last Week Shooting Pick-Ups For “The Flash”

October 7, 2022 / Posted by:

While it has been approximately three months since Ezra Miller has been publicly accused of a crime, those of you in the Burbank area who wisely signed up to receive Ezra alerts on your phone for whenever the actor is within a 5-mile radius, already know that Ezra was on the Warner Bros. lot last week. And this time it wasn’t just to blow smoke up the studio’s ass so they would continue to fund Ezra’s true passion project— Ezra Miller: The World’s Most Fascinating Person. According to The Wrap, Ezra was actually there to work! Which really just adds to their overall mystique, don’t you think? Imagine- an artist, activist, and proud member of the proletariat, all wrapped up into one Spandex onesie. Watch out world, there’s nothing Ezra can’t do, including a week of pickups on the $200 million movie they’ve been threatening to tank. No seriously, watch out. Please update your Ezra Alerts app accordingly. And keep all your eyes open; they could be anywhere.

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Ezra Miller Met With Warner Bros. Discovery Executives To “Reaffirm Their Commitment” To “The Flash”

August 29, 2022 / Posted by:

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to develop and maintain a cult before but that shit is expensive. There are a lot of hidden costs. You’ve got to have ready cash for things like robes, rent, bribes, the cost of transporting minors across state lines, airfare, drugs, ammunition, bail money— it all adds up. So I can understand why The Flash star and international person of mystery, Ezra Miller, was willing to press pause their alleged burgeoning career as a cult leader, per an alarming expose in Insider on Ezra’s activities over the past two years, to make nice with their new bosses at Warner Bros. Discovery. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Ezra became “spooked by the notion of the film getting canceled and jolted to take action.” So spooked that last week, Ezra and their agent personally met with the two new executives at WBD because other than playing cult leader with complex mental health issues, a source for Ezra says “The Flash is one of their favorite characters to play.” Awe. That’s so sweet! And here I thought Ezra might be running out of money.

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Warner Bros. Will Now Consider Shelving “The Flash” As A Last Resort If Ezra Miller Doesn’t Simmer Down

August 11, 2022 / Posted by:

Considering that Ezra Miller’s cross-continental crime spree continues apace, Warner Bros. has finally had to face the elephant in the room and decide whether they want to go ahead and calmly escort Ezra away from The Flash so they can give it a proper burial, or just let Ezra continue his stampede unhindered, right into the offices of their new parent company, Warner Bros. Discovery, leaving behind a trail of squished donuts and interns in their wake. The Hollywood Reporter reports that despite previous assurances/threats that The Flash will be getting a theatrical release no matter how many villagers Ezra has terrorized, after getting charged with felony burglary earlier this week, “an outright shelving of the film is not off the table.” Haha, jokes on them though. Ezra already demolished that table and now it’s just dust.

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A Couple In Hawaii Have Filed A Restraining Order Against Ezra Miller For Threatening Them In Their Home

March 30, 2022 / Posted by:

During the Oscars, the scene in Zack Snyder’s Justice League where The Flash enters the speed zone was named the Most Cheer-worthy Moment In Cinema History. But now, The Flash’s position in cinema history is in danger. After getting arrested in a bar in Hilo, Hawaii for disorderly conduct and harassment shortly after midnight on Monday, the titular Flash, Ezra Miller, has had a restraining order filed against them by two Hilo residents who were hosting them on the island. The complaint against Ezra alleges that they busted into the couple’s bedroom and “threatened the alleged male victim by ‘saying ‘I will bury you and your slut wife,’” the morning following their arrest. The couple had even paid their $500 bail! No matter how you look at it, that is most certainly NOT cheer-worthy behavior!

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