The producers of The Super Mario Bros. Movie knew what they were doing when they decided to release the film over the Easter holiday weekend. And their genius planning has resulted in both Mario and Luigi taking in a huge payday at the box office with a whopping $205 million during its US premiere, despite its bad reviews (it’s certified Rotten!). So apparently, Chris Pratt wasn’t lying when he said he was going to do Mario’s character justice. Maybe all of his films should be animated from now on since that’s the only way many can tolerate him.

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In case you missed (or purposely dodged) all of the pics on your timeline of families in their Target best captioned “He has risen!” yesterday, it was Easter. But it was also the one-year anniversary of Nicola and Brooklyn Peltz Beckham tying the knot in a lavish wedding, which triggered a frivolous lawsuit! To mark this momentous occasion (the anniversary, not the rising from the dead thing), Nicola’s billionaire parents, Nelson and Claudia Peltz, reportedly hosted Brooklyn and Nicola along with David and Victoria Beckham at their Palm Beach compound so everyone could get together and put a cork in their bolognese family feud. 

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Drake recently turned his feud with Kanye West back to “Promo” mode, as he has an overpriced tour with 21 Savage to promote. The 36-year-old rapper (he’s that grown?! Coulda fooled me!) recently decided to slap at Kanye through his song Search & Rescue by sampling Ye’s ex-wife, Kim Kardashian, talking about divorcing his ass in her show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Well, now Drake is leveling his promotional content trolling up a notch, and he hired a Kim K “look-alike” to flounce about with him in motorcycle helmets for the single’s cover.

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One of the greatest joys on Easter weekend is gathering the kids, painting a bunch of eggs neon pink and green, and then hiding them in the backyard. Sometimes there’s a rabbit and chocolate involved. It’s a very normal tradition and you can’t convince me otherwise. But with it being cheaper to buy a dozen Faberge eggs than a half dozen carton of chicken eggs, Easter is facing a bit of a crisis. What’s a money-conscious family to do? Well, the good people at the Idaho Potato Commission have just the solution: paint Easter potatoes! Nothing says we’re not in an economic crisis like painting potatoes!

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Taylor Swift has already repeatedly come for the Easter Bunny’s job by dropping all her “Easter Eggs” in her songs, videos, posts, and pretty much everything else she does. And now, Taylor has completely stolen the spotlight from the Easter Bunny during his big co-headlining weekend with Jesus! Because Entertainment Tonight was the first to report yesterday that the Easter Bunny’s nemesis and her boyfriend of six years, Joe Alwyn, broke up a few weeks ago, and it was “amicable.” People co-signs ET’s news that Toe is over. Well, while some of us leave relationships with nothing but a heart full of regrets and a crotch full of crabs, Joe is leaving his relationship with the damn Grammy he won thanks to Taylor. That’s a parting gift almost better than Derek Jeter’s Derek Jeter-themed one-night-stand gift basket.

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