Birthday Sluts

/ September 16, 2020
Jennifer Tilly (62)
Isabella Rose Giannulli (22)
Nick Jonas (28)
Marlon Teixeira (29)
Teddy Geiger (32)
Travis Wall (33)
Ian Harding (34)
Kyla Pratt (34)
Max Minghella (35)
Madeline Zima (35)
Sabrina Bryan (36)
Katie Melua (36)
Gleb Savchenko (37)
Fan Bingbing (39)
Alexis Bledel (39)
Flo Rida (41)

Pic: Instagram

Aaron Phypers (48)
Amy Poehler (49)
Tamron Hall (50)
Marc Anthony (52)
Rossy de Palma (56)
Molly Shannon (56)
Richard Marx (57)
Orel Hershiser (62)
David Copperfield (64)
Christopher Rich (67)
Mickey Rourke (68)
George Chakiris (86)
Peter Falk (1927-2011)
BB King (1925-2015)
Lauren Bacall (1924-2014)
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Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 98 – Dick Pics, Dickmatization, And Wandering Dicks

/ September 16, 2020

Nearly every episode of this mess of a podcast hugs its arms around the theme of dick, but we really do it with this one by first talking about Chris Evans’ dick slip that brought down the internet.Then we get into Katie Holmes getting with a dude who may or may not have dumped his fiancee for her, and Cardi B legally quitting Offset after getting sick of his wandering peen ways.

We also talk about Alec Baldwin and Jude Law becoming six-time daddies, Lily Allen and David Harbour getting hitched in Las Vegas, Madonna directing the Madonna biopic, some old Snooki gossip, and the mayo or Miracle Whip debate. Although, I’m not sure it’s much of a debate. It’s more like something that brings up the question: Who the shit is picking Miracle Whip over mayo?!

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts (and if you can’t, let us know). If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at: [email protected]!

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Afternoon Crumbs

/ September 15, 2020

Cardi B is officially freeing the WAP by filing for divorce from Offset and his certified WAP (wandering ass peen) after 3 years of marriage. I was about to brace myself for all of the Tales of the Cooch that Offset’s side tricks were about to tell about how much he’s been cheating on Cardi, but I think this split was caused by something bigger. Like Offset put a baby in a side piece, or worse, Cardi found a Nicki Minaj song on his phone – Just Jared

Stage 10 Dickmatizaion IS Katie Holmes cheesing on the inside while hanging out with her alleged cheating famewhore of a man – Lainey Gossip

The sexy Christmastime duo of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are back as Mr. and Mrs. Claus, except Goldie Hawn is giving me grown-up and glowed-up Cindy Lou Who instead of Mrs. Claus – Pajiba

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Step Aside Philistines: Madonna Is Going To Direct The Madonna Biopic Herself

/ September 15, 2020

If there’s one positive thing to come out of this coronavirus pandemic, it’s that it’s given us a unique insight into Madonna’s creative process and film-making aesthetic. Madonna, whose current iteration appears to be that of “urban skate rat” meets “day-drunk eccentric auntie”(something very few can pull off, Madonna included), is ready to add yet another feather to her cap (or Kangol, stetson, snapback, Viking horns, crown of thorns, fedora—take your pick, she’s worn them all. Sometimes all at once) by becoming a Die-rector.

Yes, according to The Wrap, the upcoming Madonna biopic, co-written by Madonna (with Diablo Cody doing the actual writing and Madonna doing the rosé lubricated raconteur-ing) will also be directed by Madonna. Anyone who’s seen her Quarantine Diaries masterworks on Instagram (not to mention the unforgettable and hauntingThe Great Equalizer” and the equally hauntingFork to The Face”), already knows that Madonna will somehow manage to star in this shit as well.

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Britney Spears Has Filed Documents Saying That She Doesn’t Want Andrew Wallet Involved In Her Conservatorship

/ September 15, 2020

Britney Spears has been fighting with her father Jamie Spears over her longstanding conservatorship, and she’s recently been making some choices that have no doubt left him steaming like a pot of overcooked grits. Jamie just wants to control as much of Britney’s life as the American legal system will allow, while keeping the details of it all as hush-hush as possible. But Britney would like everyone to know the details of what’s going on, like how she wants to be able to pick her co-conservator. Britney has made suggestions previously about who she’d like to see manage her money, and now she’s drawing a line in the sand (easy for an artistic prodigy like Britney) regarding who she doesn’t want. Jaime has been pushing for the return of former co-conservator Andrew Wallet, and Britney doesn’t want that.

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Open Post: Hosted By “Certified Young Person” Paul Rudd Telling His Fellow Youngins To Wear A Mask

/ September 15, 2020

Paul Rudd is one of those people who’s looked young since the 90s. Thirty years after he stole young gay hearts as Cher’s step-brother/love-interest (it was weird) in Clueless, 51-year-old Paul’s skin is still producing collagen like a teen’s! And he’s using his youthfulness for a good cause by suggesting to his fellow young people to mask up to stop the spread of coronavirus. Personally I think if Paul offered up his underwear to turn into masks that would incentivize more people wear them but hey, this works too!

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