I know we’re all still in shock. The end of an era! No more daily dose of sassy snark. Alas, it’s time we accept our new reality: that old bitch Pat Sajak is leaving Wheel of Fortune. And today, TVLine reports that Vanna White could be next. In fact, Sony TV might eliminate the role of eye candy letter-toucher entirely!
Mayim Bialik and Ken Jennings can keep vying for wittiest Jeopardy! host (verdict: sorry, it’s still the legend, Alex Trebek), and Pat Sajak gets to continue to curmudgeonly condescend to a fresh crop of contestants and bitch to a probably very tired Vanna White backstage until the producers’ wish of him retiring is finally granted–because ABC just held on to two of the very lucrative “feathers in their cap” by forking out even more money than they had to last time to secure a five-year renewal for both shows.
Imagine missing Pat Sajak so much that you feel compelled to #taketotwitter to complain about what a shitty job Vanna White is doing as his temporary replacement. Vanna, of all people, has done nothing over the past 37 years but turn turning letters into a nightly display of class and grace the likes of which have never before been seen on network television. It’s a travesty, a crying shame, a crime against all that we hold dear as a nation, and an injustice of the highest order. According to The Blast, Vanna’s first time behind the titular Wheel of Fortune as host, was met with criticism online. As previously announced, Vanna is filling in to Pat who was recovering from emergency surgery for a block_d int_stin_. Pro tip: Buy a vowel. Unless you’re Pat Sajak, in which case, buy a bowel (It’s OK folks, he’s fine. Pat has already recovered, Vanna’s first episode as host was previously taped).
Wheel of Fortune is back in the news, and not just because it’s become the go-to place for Americans to fake dramatic revelations about the state of their loveless marriages. We obviously need to gather ’round our beloved game show hosts (despite their wacky politics, *ahem*) with prayer circles and beseech our deities to keep them safe! As we know, Jeopardy’s Alex Trebek is bravely battling cancer, and now People reports that Pat “Anti Ketchup Fascism” Sajak had to undergo emergency surgery this week for a blocked intestine.