Any day now, trillions of locusts will swarm the land, Satan will crawl out of Hell to high-five his homeboy Trump and nukes will fly above our heads. And as the world crashes down around us and we all run for our lives, you can count on one thing: Amidst the chaos of it all, LeAnn Rimes and Brandi Glanville will be looking at each other like, “Ewww, your implants are jank, your weave is trash, you totally have cankles and Eddie said my pussy tastes sweeter, bitch!”
LeAnn v. Brandi is the roach of feuds, and like roaches, it apparently can be found amongst the trash and scum. The Dirty recently noticed that Brandi unfollowed her forever arch rival LeAnn on both Twitter and Instagram. James McGibney, the owner of the site BullyVille, tells The Dirty that Brandi broke up with LeAnn on social media after finding out that the diabolical luck dragon allegedly hired a professional troll (and yes, that’s what I write under “occupation” on my tax returns) to stalk and harass her. LeAnn Rimes is 34 years old. I’m pointing that out, because I’m around her age and I thought I acted like a bitchy immature tween (see: Everything I write on this blog and the fact that I asked my friend if my ex’s current boyfriend is hotter than me. The answer was yes.) But this two Dollar Tree clearance bin Regina George has me beat.
Since Kim Kartrashian is taking a fame-whorebbatical after getting jewel-jacked in Paris, it’s Kanye West’s job to desperately get those headlines and he went for it during the Seattle stop on his Saint Pablo tour last night. Kuntye went after fellow Tidal shareholder (Do they call themselves “seaweeds“?) Jay-Z over dumb political crap between Apple and Tidal, and also over Jay calling him after Kim was robbed instead of dropping by for a personal visit. Things are going to be really awkward for everyone at the next Illuminati sacrificial ritual ceremony when Kanye and Jay keep throwing mad looks at each other.
Of course she wasn’t! Demi Lovato is about to learn that if you grab the sugar cookie, you get the sharp shards of royal icing. I don’t know what that means, but it feels like something said by Taylor Swift while staring menacingly out of a window in the war room of her gingerbread house.
Earlier this month, Stephanie Seymour proved she’s still got bad-bitch supermodel blood running through her veins when she referred to popular-on-social-media and reality TV models like Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid by as “bitches of the moment” instead of “supermodels” to Vanity Fair. Kendall dramatically hit back at Stephanie by calling her a “cyberbully” in a piece on her personal website. A few days later, Gigi’s mama came for Stephanie too. Yolanda Foster told TMZ: “It’s sad to see some of these beautiful semi-retired supermodels, who are mothers themselves now, feel the need to publicly put down someone else’s daughter.”
Stephanie has decided to defend herself against that “cyberbully” accusation and try to explain what she meant with that “bitches of the moment” comment.
Susan Sarandon and Debra Messing can officially stop fighting now, because the random feud baton has been snatched up by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber.
When the Cats revival opened in London in 2014, Nicole Scherzinger (aka the leader of the Pussycat Dolls and a member of underrated girl group of the aughts Eden’s Crush) played the glamour cat Grizabella. At the time, Sir ALW couldn’t slobber out enough streams of praise over her performance. He said that Nicole’s performance of the show’s biggest song “Memory” was the greatest recording of his music ever, which is saying a lot since the likes of Barbra Streisand, Betty Buckley, his ex-wife Sarah Brightman and Elaine Paige have all recorded his stuff. Sir ALW said that Nicole would bring her Grizabella to Broadway and take NYC by STORM! But well….
Before she went to bed last night, Kim Kardashian (with no help from Kanye or Khloe, uh huh) got a head start on her daily quest for attention by going after Bette Midler, Piers Morgan, and Chloe Grace Moretz on Twitter for hating on her for tweeting a picture of her naked body.
Since then, shots have been fired from all sides. Bette shot back at Kim by sniping that she’s nobody’s fake friend and read her for being able to take a selfie and not being able to take a joke. Kardashian family ally Bella Thorne slapped at everyone judging Kim’s decision to post naked plastic mommy selfies. Emily Ratajkowski came for Piers by calling him sexist, before rendering her opinion null and void by referring to what Kim does as a “career.” And now Miley Cyrus, seen above looking like The Three Blind Mice’s dirtbag drop-out brother, has taken a moment out of her busy pie-baking and ironing schedule to give us her thoughts on it all.
Dear women, you ALL are acting tacky AF! Why don't we overly (myself included) fortunate women come together and try to create and bring jobs to other women in desperate need of them so they can support not only THEMSELVES but their families! #happyinternationalwomensday can we all put the cuntiness aside for one fucking day and love / celebrate one another! PS no matter how hard you (or myself) work NEVER will I feel I am worthy of the comfort I live in…. Because so many others while I tuck myself in at night are laying their head on the pavement, dreaming of all the things we take for granted every day. Much love to all my women!!!!
You know there must be a disturbance in the force when you find yourself agreeing with Miley Cyrus. But even though I agree with most of what Miley has said, I cannot with a good conscience get on board with her directing her message to “you ALL.” According to my religion (First Wivesbyterian), referring to Saint Bette Midler as “tacky” gets you a one-way ticket to Hell.
Pic: Miley Cyrus