Category: Royal Wedding
Princess Beatrice Probably Won’t Have A Lavish Royal Wedding
Usually the lead-up to a royal wedding includes at least 12 months worth of stories about how hours of hand-beading imported crystals it will take to complete the gown and which of Queen Elizabeth’s jeweled tiaras will be chosen to compliment the buttercream roses on the wedding cake. And when the big day arrives, there are (usually) thousands of photographers and people lining the streets, hoping to catch a glimpse of the royal couple, or at the very least, Oprah. But when Princess Beatrice gets married to her Italian aristocrat fiancé Edoardo Mapeli Mozzi this year, it’s probably going to be a whole lot less extravagant than what you’d expect. And she’s partially got daddy to thank for that.
Princess Beatrice Is Getting Married
Well it looks like Queen Elizabeth’s damage control fixers and public relations specialists are getting a much-needed break this week. Because for the first time in a long time, members of the Royal Family have made the news in a way that doesn’t have The Queen reaching for a cold glass of gin and some Tylenol. First there was Baby Archie, making his official royal baby family tour debut with his parents in South Africa, and he didn’t spit up or shit his pants or smash a cupcake into a peasant’s face. And today, we’ve got the news that Princess Beatrice is “so excited” to announce that she’s gotten engaged to her rich property tycoon boyfriend Edoardo Mapeli Mozzi.
Duchess Meghan’s Friend Says She’ll Be A “Strict” Mom
Us Weekly reports that Duchess Meghan is really serious about this whole “normal mom” thing she’s got planned. It’s been reported for a while that the Duchess of Sussex and Price Harry are going to raise their new son Archie as a commoner. They want to raise their son away from the drama and conflama of being a royal and instead have him live the extremely regular life of your average extremely wealthy person who doesn’t deal with media scrutiny. Well now we’re getting more factoids being spread in the media coming from some people close to the Duchess all about how she’s going to be a normal, strict mom.
Princess Eugenie’s Official Wedding Portraits Are Here
Pricess Eugenie (AKA “Princess Who?-genie” to non-royal watchers) got married to her commoner/kissing cousin Jack Brooksbank two days ago. Unlike us normal folk who have a shorter wait at the DMV than the time it takes for us to get our wedding photo contact sheets back, the latest Royal Family wedding portraits have already been released. Eugenie may only be 9th in line to the throne, but nevertheless, her photos arrived lightening speed and here they are for our inspection, so get out your magnifying glasses and let’s get to inspecting!
Open Post: Hosted By Duchess Kate And Prince William Getting Into Some PDA At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding
We know Prince William and Duchess Kate have three children, but I’m sure if The Queen had her way, it shall remain a mystery as to how those future heirs were made. Royal magic? Wishes? Stop asking, you pervert! Generally, PDA is a no-no when it comes to royal family protocol, but today William and Kate decided to let royal protocol take a backseat to their emotions, and they were caught holding hands in the pews during Princess Eugenie’s wedding ceremony. So kinky! Is that the first few bars of Beyoncé’s “Naughty Girl” playing?
The Wind Tried To Take Down Naomi Campbell’s Glamour At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding
Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan’s all-star royal wedding spectacular may have been stuffed full of more celebrities than the damn Met Gala, and brought out the likes of The Mighty O and Tom Hardy, who became all of us by falling asleep with his eyes open. But Princess Eugenie had Naomi Campbell on her wedding guest list today. The St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle was probably filled with the clickity clack sounds of Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan furiously pounding away at their iPhones while rage-texting their wedding guest booker for not getting them THEE Naomi Campbell.