If my dad was Prince Andrew, I’d be researching real estate in the North Pole. Princess Eugenie isn’t going to such drastic lengths to avoid accidentally bumping into her dad at the nest family function or her local Pizza Express. She’s just moved her family to Portugal for a bit. But, according to one source, she’s maybe looking to make it a long-term thing, in an attempt to put some space between herself and the more toxic elements of her famous family.
Princess Beatrice And Princess Eugenie Have Been Named In A Fraud Case Tied To Their Father Prince Andrew
Oh, those British royals – so relatable! I mean, who of us hasn’t found ourselves at one time or another caught up in our disgraced father’s alleged million-dollar fraud scheme involving a Turkish millionaire and our mom, Duchess Fergie? Wait, I only see Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie raising their hands. Huh, I guess that’s not exactly a common example of family bonding time. But it’s currently a thing that Bea and Genie get to talk about with their dad. Luckily, their dad already has a comprehensive relationship with his lawyers, so hopefully the Princesses can get this sorted out before their parents’ next money scandal.
Jack Brooksbank has only been married to Princess Eugenie for a little less than three years, but he’s already proved he fits right in when it comes to getting involved in an embarrassing public scandal. Jack was photographed sailing around the island of Capri on a boat with three women as his wife was back at home taking care of their five-month-old son August. There was drinking, swimming, laughing, bikinis, questionably appropriate touching, and some exposed nipples, all of which made for a situation that required some immediate damage control. Jack’s mother-in-law Fergie quickly jumped to his defense, saying that Jack is a man of “integrity” and was just doing his job as a Casamigos tequila brand ambassador. Now we’re hearing from one of the women on that yacht, an Italian model-slash-social media influencer named Erica Pelosini, who is saying it was she who was the one who was being inappropriate on that boat.
Don’t let anyone ever tell you that The Royals don’t pull their weight. They’re not all free-loaders, some of them actually have real jobs, thank you very much. And when you’re maybe not the most intelligent, best looking, or popular royal, having good honest work in the public sector is the best way to honor The Firm and show respect for the British public to whom you owe your position in life. That’s why some members of the Royal Family have called Princess Eugenie‘s husband Jack Brooksbank “a superhero.” Unfortunately for Jack, it was Prince Andrew‘s ex-wife Sarah Ferguson who called him that. And historically, if Original Fergie’s praising you in the press, you’ve done something appalling. In Jack’s case, it was getting photographed partying on a yacht “surrounded by bikini-clad models” while your wife is home with your five-month-old son.
Princess Eugenie, 11th in line to the throne, has been married to Jack Brooksbank for nearly three years, and they share a son, August Philip Hawke Brooksbank, who was born six months ago. We all know who Princess Eugenie is (daughter of Prince Andrew and Fergie, royal cousin of future king Prince William and all that, and one-time resident of Frogmore Cottage). Jack Brooksbank is a brand ambassador for Casamigos Tequila who was once described by his own grandmother as “Not the most intelligent.” Granny might have been telling the full truth when she said that because Jack just got caught by photographers doing something that might have been very dumb.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw the headline, “Baby Lilibet and Archie Will Inherit ‘Princess’ and ‘Prince’ Titles When Charles Becomes King,” and well, that aged about as well as the hairline of a male British royal. Because The Mail on Sunday claims that Prince Charles is already making plans for when he takes over The Crown and those plans include changing the Letters Patent to keep royals who are not directly in line to the throne from getting titles. If Charles makes that change, that means Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s children, 2-year-old Archie Harrison and 2-week-old Lilibet Diana, won’t become Prince Archie and Princess Lillibet (which is a damn shame because that fancy name of Lillibet was made to have “Princess” in front of it). Cut to Harry furiously checking Amazon to see if they can same-day deliver a World’s Shittiest Dad mug to Charles on this Father’s Day. Although, Prince Hot Ginge may have already sent Charles one.