Category: Princess Beatrice
Princess Beatrice And Princess Eugenie Have Been Named In A Fraud Case Tied To Their Father Prince Andrew
Oh, those British royals – so relatable! I mean, who of us hasn’t found ourselves at one time or another caught up in our disgraced father’s alleged million-dollar fraud scheme involving a Turkish millionaire and our mom, Duchess Fergie? Wait, I only see Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie raising their hands. Huh, I guess that’s not exactly a common example of family bonding time. But it’s currently a thing that Bea and Genie get to talk about with their dad. Luckily, their dad already has a comprehensive relationship with his lawyers, so hopefully the Princesses can get this sorted out before their parents’ next money scandal.
Princess Beatrice Revealed The Name Of Her Daughter, And The Queen Got A Shout Out
About two weeks after she burst into this world and temporarily yanked the spotlight off her granddaddy (a move I’m sure he’ll be forever grateful for), Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi’s baby daughter’s got a name, which they revealed on social media earlier today, and a fancy Italian royal title, as expected.
Princess Beatrice Is A New Mom
Finally some unequivocally good news for the British Royal Family. Princess Beatrice has given birth to a healthy baby girl late Saturday night. That gives Bea’s husband Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi about 5 months to get himself photographed on a yacht with a topless model like his brother-in-law Jack Brooksbank if Bea wants to keep following in the footsteps of her younger sister Princess Eugenie.
Prince Charles Will Reportedly Not Let Archie Become A Prince As He Plans To Slim Down The Monarchy
A couple of weeks ago, I saw the headline, “Baby Lilibet and Archie Will Inherit ‘Princess’ and ‘Prince’ Titles When Charles Becomes King,” and well, that aged about as well as the hairline of a male British royal. Because The Mail on Sunday claims that Prince Charles is already making plans for when he takes over The Crown and those plans include changing the Letters Patent to keep royals who are not directly in line to the throne from getting titles. If Charles makes that change, that means Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s children, 2-year-old Archie Harrison and 2-week-old Lilibet Diana, won’t become Prince Archie and Princess Lillibet (which is a damn shame because that fancy name of Lillibet was made to have “Princess” in front of it). Cut to Harry furiously checking Amazon to see if they can same-day deliver a World’s Shittiest Dad mug to Charles on this Father’s Day. Although, Prince Hot Ginge may have already sent Charles one.
Princess Beatrice Is Pregnant With Her First Child
I don’t know if Queen Elizabeth splurges hard on ultra-expensive, deeply impractical baby gifts for her grandbabies, like hand-engraved platinum-dipped Diaper Genies, or if she’s the type to send a Buckingham Palace guard down to the shops with a fist-full of $20s to pick up a couple of y gift cards. But whatever type of Great Granny she is, she better double up on her 2021 baby gift budget. Because The Queen isn’t just expecting one new great-grandchild, but two. Ten months after their tiny socially distanced pandemic wedding, Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi are expecting their first child.
Ed Sheeran’s Manager Confirms That Princess Beatrice Accidentally Slashed His Face With A Sword In 2016
A few years ago, Ed Sheeran, the man who cursed us with the 2017-ruining song “Shape of You”, allegedly got sliced in the face by a drunken, sword-wielding Princess Beatrice. He never confirmed the story, and, at one point, 2004’s James Blunt suggested it was just a joke. But, in a new interview with the Telegraph, Ed’s longtime manager, Stuart Camp, is finally talking about the incident, calling Princess Beatrice a “fucking idiot”.