Category: Lil Xan
Noah Cyrus And Machine Gun Kelly Might Be A Thing Now
I’m sure Grammy after parties are always rife with regrettable hookups and early morning trips to CVS for mouthwash, penicillin and Plan B. But sometimes whatever goes on after-hours on the Sunset Strip marks the beginning of a romance for the ages. And who’s to say it can’t be both! Us Weekly reports that Machine Gun Kelly and Noah Cyrus have sparked romance rumors after being each other’s date to a Grammys after-party. MGK was most recently linked to his friend Pete Davidson’s ex Kate Beckinsale, and Noah will forever be known as the sucker who let Lil Xan get away. Though Kate denied a relationship with MGK, through every fault of her own, she’s inadvertently thrown herself into the same dating pool as Lil Xan. A pool which needs to be drained, filled with cement, and to never have a housing development built on top of it lest we find ourselves in a Poltergeist situation where all the ghosts have shitty tattoos and a smoker’s cough.
Lil Xan Pulled A Gun On A Dude Who Asked Him Why He Talked Shit About Tupac
No matter where you stand on the gun control debate, I’m 100% sure that every single one of us can agree that a bath salts-baked zygote who can’t even handle Flamin’ Hot Cheetos shouldn’t be allowed to own or carry anything more powerful than an unloaded half-broken Nerf Blaster. But Lil Xan has a handgun, and he pulled it on a dude last night after the dude got on him for some comments about Tupac that dribbled out of his mumble hole last year. If Tupac was really alive, we’d hear him loudly laughing over the tragic foolishness of this mess.
Lil Xan Says He’s Not Sure His Fianceé Annie Smith Was Ever Pregnant
Lil Xan’s fianceé Annie Smith says she got pregnant with a Lil Xanby, and because her ultrasound picture was one snatched from Google, some speculated her pregnancy was faked. Then she said she had a miscarriage. Lil Xan is forever a gentleman so he wants everyone to know that if there was a fake pregnancy he had nothing to do with it. I means it’s a weird flex but sure Lil Xan, sure.
Lil Xan’s Fiancee Annie Smith Had A Miscarriage
It’s a somber day for us here at Xanity 2, the headquarters for the small subgroup of Lil Xan fans over the age of 30. Lil Xan’s fiancee Annie Smith claims she has suffered a miscarriage, ending a 2-month pregnancy that most people thought was fake to begin with. When Annie last updated us on her tummy full of Lil Xan, she defended herself against allegations that the ultrasound pictures she shared from her phone belonged to somebody else. And despite the fact that multiple people were able to see those very same pictures by doing a quick Google search of “9-week ultrasound”, Annie maintained she was in a Xamily way. Until yesterday that is, when she challenged the reading comprehension of her and Lil Xan’s fans by embedding the sad news in a lengthy caption that accompanied various videos from the early days of their relationship.
Lil Xan’s Fiancée Denies Rumors That She Is Faking Her Pregnancy
Some bitter bitches and petty wannabes are out here disparaging my lil’ homie, Lil Xan by insinuating that he and his sweet lil’ girlfriend Annie Smith are faking her pregnancy for attention. And I will not stand for it. I’ve thought long and hard about the hill I’m willing to die on, and to my own surprise, it’s this. I will give my life over to defending Lil Xan’s honor. You’ve been warned. If you have a problem with that, there’s the door. No the other door, dummy, that’s a closet. GOD! Just GTFO!
Lil Xan Is Expecting A Lil Baby
E! News is reporting that SoundCloud rapper, Lil Xan, is expecting an even littler Xan to pop out of his girlfriend’s vagina later this year, proving that no matter how immature you look, or how many bad face tattoos you ruin yourself with, or how many times you get Airbnb noise complaints, or how many times you OD on hot Cheetos, you can still take on the responsibility of fatherhood! What a world! CPS is about to get a lot busier.