Christian Bale Will Play A Villain In The Next “Thor” Movie

March 7, 2020 / Posted by:

Another day, another Marvel superhero movie to report about. But unlike the others, this future cinematic staple has actually done a marvelous bit of casting. Turns out, Oscar-winning thespian Christian Bale had originally shown interest in joining the Marvel universe in order to land the role he was born to play: a supervillain. And one of his soon-to-be co-stars, Tessa Thompson, has confirmed to Entertainment Tonight that his messy ass is now attached.

After the raging success of Thor: Ragnarok, where Chris Hemsworth stands around looking all hunky and scruffy and shit, the plan was set to develop another totally necessary sequel. Enter Christian.

Thor: Love and Thunder, which sounds like a VH1 reality series where a bunch of tragic, self-loathing drama queens beat the shit out of each other in the hopes of impressing some hot Norweigian guy who marries the last one standing, sees Chris and Tessa reprising their roles, alongside Natalie Portman. The sequel will also be shot by returning director, Taika Waititi, who had this to say about his latest project:

“If you take Ragnarok, which I feel was a very outlandish and big, bombastic film, we’re trying double down on everything we did with that and create something that is even more crazy and even more of a big adventure.”

HA! Don’t worry, Taika. There should be no absence of crazy if Christian Bale is within earshot.

In case you were living under a rock in 2009, Christian inadvertently let the world know that he sometimes has a mild temper when things aren’t going his way on-set. Nothing major, just a habit of mentally breaking down anybody who gets in his way with a tidal wave of fucks and shits.

Christian, who has spent so much time playing superheroes (except for that one time he played Dick Cheney), used to love to challenge himself with his roles, so this move comes as no surprise. What WILL be surprising is if he can manage to hold it together should one strand of Chris Hemsworth’s glorious blond locks enter his peripheral vision while he’s rehearsing some soliloquy. Cue Christian being “fucking done, professionally” with Chris (and Tessa, and Natalie, and Taika, and the craft services person) in 3, 2, 1…


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