Category: Miles Teller

Open Post: Hosted By The New “Top Gun: Maverick” Recruits

January 30, 2020 / Posted by:

As if we needed more proof that Top Gun 2: Bottoms Up is anything more than a very expensive video of Tom Cruise fapping into the wind, the film’s director, Joseph Kosinski, was interviewed for Entertainment Weekly and detailed the staggering lengths the production went to in order to make Tom feel good about himself. EW also revealed some new sepia toned cast photos which I guess are supposed to evoke feelings of nostalgia but really just expose the fact that the production of Top Gun 2: Rear Viewz has depleted the world’s supply of bronzer.

Continue reading

The First Full Trailer For “Top Gun: Maverick” Is Here

December 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Tom Cruise proves just how flexible he is in the latest trailer for Top Gun 2: The Ego Has Landed with an impressive display of autofellacio. As with the teaser trailer we got back in July, this new trailer is all about how rad Tom Cruise is. He’s not just a maverick flying by the seat of his stunt butt, he’s THE Maverick. Top Gun 2: Cockpit Tease features Tom engaging in various acts of speed while a voice-over blows smoke up his ass. Guys, his exploits…………(wait for it)………..(wait for it)………(I hope you went to the bathroom first because)…… (wait for it)……….(almost there)……. (here it comes)……….(almost there)……are legendary.

Continue reading

Miles Teller Got Married Over The Weekend

September 3, 2019 / Posted by:

People says that 32-year-old Miles Teller and his 26-year-old longtime girlfriend Keleigh Sperry got married in Maui, Hawaii over the weekend, a little over two years after they got engaged during an African safari. A safari engagement should have led to a Lion King-themed wedding, what with it being the biggest movie this summer. At the very least, his publicist could have suggested some branding synergy with Top Gun-themed wedding vows (“I want you to be the Goose to my Maverick, in theaters June 26, 2020“). But they went with a classic Hawaiian thing.

Continue reading

Here’s The Teaser Trailer For “Top Gun: Maverick” For Those With A Need For Speed

July 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Even though it’s not going to be released for another year, a teaser trailer for Top Gun 2: Bottoms Up has landed. If I didn’t know any better I’d say they just cobbled together scenes from the original movie and slapped that old age filter over Tom Cruise’s face, because there is absolutely nothing new to see here. But the fleeting glance of Jon Hamm STRIDING WITH PURPOSE tells me they actually filmed some new scenes. But the rest is all been there, done that, got the soundtrack to prove it (seriously, it’s one of the best motion picture soundtracks of the 80s). Shirtless beach volleyball scene: Check. Tommy racing the wind on his motorcycle: Check. Drunken group singing: Check. Pointless insubordination: Check, check, and check.

Continue reading

Who Will Play Elvis Presley In Baz Luhrmann’s Biopic?

July 2, 2019 / Posted by:

A biopic about the late Elvis Presley is currently in the works, courtesy of Baz Luhrmann and Warner Bros., because there haven’t been nearly enough movies and TV shows about Elvis. Deadline and The Hollywood Reporter say that Baz and Warner Bros. are currently testing several actors for the part of Elvis, and they have a list of the five actors who could potentially shake their hips and mumble “Thunkyuh vurry mush” over the deafening sound of teen girl screams.

Continue reading

Jon Hamm Will Squeeze The Hammaconda Into A “Top Gun” Flight Suit

August 23, 2018 / Posted by:

As if the addition of Miles Teller didn’t add enough douche bro fumes to the upcoming reboot of Top Gun, the ghost of Jon Hamm’s fraternity hazing past will also be haunting the set. Deadline reports that in addition to Jon, Ed Harris, and Lewis Pullman (son of MY president Bill Pullman), will also be joining the cast of Top Gun 2: Look Who’s Topping.

Continue reading

alt="drupal analytics" >