The First Full Trailer For “Top Gun: Maverick” Is Here

December 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Tom Cruise proves just how flexible he is in the latest trailer for Top Gun 2: The Ego Has Landed with an impressive display of autofellacio. As with the teaser trailer we got back in July, this new trailer is all about how rad Tom Cruise is. He’s not just a maverick flying by the seat of his stunt butt, he’s THE Maverick. Top Gun 2: Cockpit Tease features Tom engaging in various acts of speed while a voice-over blows smoke up his ass. Guys, his exploits…………(wait for it)………..(wait for it)………(I hope you went to the bathroom first because)…… (wait for it)……….(almost there)……. (here it comes)……….(almost there)……are legendary.

According to Tom Cruise, “TOM CRUISE is a global cultural icon who has made an immeasurable impact on cinema by creating some of the most memorable characters of all time.“, so I guess this is all well earned. However, of Top Gun: Maverick’s The Coolest, Variety details a plot that’s thinner than the gruel they serve to the child slaves in the Sea Org canteen.

In the follow-up, Maverick shows a new class of fighter pilots how to duck, dip and dive in the sky. The trailer features plenty of scenic views, fancy jets, bomber jacks and aviator sunglasses.

Here’s the trailer which is exactly as described above except Variety failed to mention Miles Teller’s pornagrapher’s mustache (he plays Rooster, you know, Goose’s boy!) and Jennifer Connelly looking like she’d rather be literally anywhere else.

Are there no helmet laws in Florida? Actually, that explains a lot, now that I think about it. Top Gun: Bottoms Up won’t be in theaters until next summer, so I’m not sure why he’s in such a hurry.

Pic: YouTube

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