Category: DOUCHE ALERT
The Tech Mogul Who Spend $2 Million A Year To Reverse His Age Is Now Getting Blood Transfusions From His Teenage Son
Remember Bryan Johnson, the evil tech millionaire who dumped his ex-fiancèe when she told him she had breast cancer? Well, this piece of shit is back in the news. This time, it’s for his other claim to fame: his $2 million-a-year obsession with reversing the effects of aging. The New York Post reports that Bryan is using his 17-year-old son, Talmage, as a “blood boy.” It’s exactly like it sounds. Last month, young Talmage donated his precious teen plasma to Bryan, and Bryan donated his middle-aged plasma to his 70-year-old father, Richard, in the first “tri-generational blood-swapping treatment.”
Apparently, Bryan thinks getting his son’s blood fed into his veins will make his body younger. His ultimate goal is to have all his major organs functioning as though he was in his late teens. This includes his brain, kidneys, liver, teeth, hair, skin, penis, and rectum. “Give me your blood, son, so my dick can be 17 again…”
A Tech Millionaire, Who Is Trying To Reverse His Age, Is Being Sued By His Ex-Fiancée Because He Dumped Her After She Told Him She Has Breast Cancer
There are a lot of very nasty folks in the world, and unfortunately, a large majority of them have lots of money. But one who has secured their eternal place in Hell is tech millionaire Bryan Johnson, founder of the web payment system Braintree which was eventually bought by PayPal. He’s Disney villain evil for a multitude of reasons, including spending over $1 million a year to try to reverse his age. But the one that stands out the most is his mistreatment of his ex-fiancée Taryn Southern. Not only did he cheat on her repeatedly throughout their relationship he deserves a life full of throat punches for dumping her after she revealed she was battling breast cancer.
Instagram Model Sumner Stroh Claims She Had A Year-Long Affair With Adam Levine
Three days ago, Adam Levine of Maroon 5 and his wife of 8 years, 34-year-old model Behati Prinsloo, announced they were expecting their third child together. Unfortunately for 43-year-old Adam, the couple’s happiness was not long for this world. This morning, 23-year-old Instagram model Sumner Stroh took to TikTok to claim that she had a year-long affair with him. Then, after several months of zero contact, Adam allegedly DMed Sumner in June with an odd request. If his baby is a boy, does Sumner mind if he names him “Sumner”? Damn, anyone with eyes and ears could tell you Adam Levine is a mega-douche, but trying to name your baby after your former mistress? I’m almost impressed by the sheer audacity!
Open Post: Hosted By A Surprise Proposal That Was Shut Down By A Disney Employee
Disney theme parks are well-known for being places where whimsy abounds, smiles greet you at every turn, and dreams really do come true. That is unless your dream is to propose to your hopeful fiancée. Then it’s a big “HELL NO!” from the Mouse! You gotta pay for that shit! A video from Disneyland Paris is making rounds after a couple attempted and failed a proposal in front of the famous Sleeping Beauty castle. The moment the ring flashed onto the scene, a Disney crew member came up and SNATCHED it right out of the box. I guess the couple did get a magical moment because that Disney employee made that ring disappear!
Hailey Bieber Denies That Justin Bieber Treats Her Like Shit
Justin Bieber went from being a bratty, narcissistic My Buddy doll from douche HELL to being a bratty, narcissistic My Buddy doll from douche HELL masquerading as a loving child of the lord and caring husband. But even though The Biebs wants everyone to think that he’s a changed toddler, we’ve seen uncomfortable moments with his super-fangirl turned wife Hailey Bieber that makes everyone say, “Err, looks like Hailey needs to change her son’s Pamper because bitch is grouchy!” But Hailey says that the “narrative” that her husband treats her the way that he dresses (read: like caca) is one big fat lie and he’s actually a respectful angel who lifts her up every single day.
Miles Teller’s Rep Cries “Incorrect” Over The Report That His Unvaccinated Ass Caught COVID-19, Causing Production On “The Offer” To Temporarily Shut Down
Yesterday it was reported that certified douche Miles Teller (seen above looking like an off-brand Magnum P.I. doll sold at a swap meet) refused to get the COVID-19 vaccine and also refused to get tested. And he apparently caught coronavirus, which led to the producers of his Paramount+ series, The Offer, having to press the pause button on production. Miles’ rep calls the reports “incorrect” but wouldn’t spit up any details. Miles actually replaced alleged abusing piece of yuppie smegma, Armie Hammer, in the series. So clearly that role is cursed and the only way to cleanse it of evil-ness is to cast Betty White in it. Better yet, just replace the entire cast with Betty White.