Category: Not The Face

Assault Charges Have Been Filed Against The Man Who Allegedly Attacked Miles Teller In Maui

November 8, 2021 / Posted by:

That glamorous couple’s trip to Hawaii that Miles Teller and his wife Keleigh Sperry took with Shailene Woodley and Aaron Rodgers resulted in more than just a quartet of sunburnt assholes. It was on that trip, which took place back in May of this year, that Miles made good on his reputation of having one of the most punchable faces in Hollywood by allegedly getting punched in the face in the bathroom at Monkeypod Kitchen in Maui. Miles claimed he had been jumped by two strangerstrying to gang fight” him in the bathroom, but there were also reports that the attack was motivated by $60,000 that the alleged assailant claimed was owed to his wife for helping to plan Miles and Keleigh’s 2019 wedding. Now, we’re one step closer to learning the truth. According to TMZ, only one man, Russell Nielsen, has been charged with the assault. And Russell’s wife Lorrie Nielsen owns a wedding planning company called Unveiled Hawaii, which Keleigh name-checked in the Vogue coverage of their wedding.

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Open Post: Hosted By Aaron Carter’s Face Tattoo Tribute To His Girlfriend

March 10, 2020 / Posted by:

Privileged white boys getting face tattoos. So in right now! Aaron Carter making scary decisions. Also so in right now. So, obviously, Aaron, who already has a few questionable tats on the ol’ visage, made the wise decision to add to the collection. This time, he got his girlfriend’s name inscribed above his eyebrow. Melanie.

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Amber Rose’s Boyfriend Also Got A Face Tattoo For Their Baby Slash

February 17, 2020 / Posted by:

It looks like Amber Rose’s boyfriend Alexander Edwards is in it for the long haul. Not only did he put a baby in Amber, he’s taken her lead and gotten a forehead tattoo to commemorate the birth of their son, Slash Alexander Edwards. And then A.E. took it even further by adding the birth date of Amber’s other son, Sebastian “Bash” Taylor Thomaz, whose father is Wiz Khalifa. And yes, as any good parent does, Wiz also has Bash’s name tattooed on his forehead. That is the only way to let your child know they are loved. Why do you think the Boomer generation has the reputation of being standoffish with their children. I mean, just look at them. Hardly any of them have face tattoos!

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A Post-Accident Photo Reveals That Carrie Underwood Is Not A Disfigured Monster

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

Yesterday we learned that Carrie Underwood (seen above at the CMA Awards a couple of months ago) fucked her face up real good when she took a fall at home back in November. It’s a nightmare scenario for anybody and it was all the more disturbing when Carrie announced that while she is healing, her face doesn’t “quite look the same”.

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Kit Harington Got Into A Fist Fight At A McDonald’s The Night Before His “Game Of Thrones” Audition

June 28, 2016 / Posted by:

Kit Harington – seen above looking like Birdie the Early Bird’s emo cousin, Moody the Melancholy Crow – is clearly attempting to reshape his image from sensitive hunk to 100% bad boy. Kit recently told W magazine the story of his Game of Thrones audition. Kit says he showed up with a black eye that he received the night before at McDonald’s. Naturally, I immediately assumed Kit’s black eye was the result of getting accidentally smacked in the face during one of the many spontaneous dance-offs that the film Mac & Me has lead me to believe are very common at McDonald’s, but that’s not the case. Kit got a black eye after defending his lady’s honor.

Kit and a girl he was dating at the time went to McDonald’s one night, and they sat next to a dude and the dude’s girlfriend who started trouble with them. Eventually the other dude called Kit’s girlfriend some rude names. So Kit stood up and challenged the dude to a fight. Unfortunately, as he began to stand up, Kit realized he was dealing with someone who was more Hodor than King Joffrey (i.e. dude was huge). He proceeded to whoop Kit’s ass and leave him with a souvenir. Kit joked that his black eye probably helped him land the role, and jokingly thanked the random guy in the McDonald’s that night for giving it to him.

I won’t dwell on Kit Harington’s gorgeous face, since we all know he’d hate that. Instead I want to what the hell is with late-night McDonald’s fights? I’m not kidding when I say I’ve seen four – FOUR – McDonald’s brawls in my lifetime, and that’s not counting the time I was at a McDonald’s in Florida at 11:30 at night and my cashier stopped taking my order so she could tell the girl working the fryer that she was going to “punch her dead in the face.” People, this is NOT what Mac Tonight had in mind when he dreamed of late-night Mac Attacks.

Pics: HBO, Flickr

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