Category: Bader Shammas
Lindsay Lohan Announced She’s Pregnant With Her First Child
The children of Moscow can rest easy tonight knowing that alleged attempted child napper Lindsay Lohan is pregnant with a child of her own. She has announced that she’s expecting her first child with her husband, Bader Shammas. Lindsay’s come a long way since those dark times, and people are asking, “is this a sign that a glorious new day is upon us?” As we know from our scriptures, no Lohanaissance is complete until five things occur, kinda like the seven seals of the apocalypse but more festive, and there are only five. They are as follows:
Lindsay Lohan And Bader Shammas Are Married
This past November, Lindsay Lohan announced that she was engaged to her man of a couple of years Bader Shammas. And as everyone Googled, “Who is Bader Shammas?”, Dina Lohan probably Googled, “What is Bader Shammas’ net worth?” (answers: Bader Shammas is a Kuwait-born financier whose net worth is reportedly $4 million). Well, Bader Shammas can now count White Oprah and Michael Lohan as his in-laws because he and LiLo are officially married. We’re really living in the reboot of the early-aughts because every single star from that legendarily messy car picture got married within a year of each other. Paris Hilton got hitched in November and Britney Spears got married last month. Hopefully, LiLo brought a little early-aughts elegance into her wedding by wearing a Von Dutch trucker hat with a veil.