Category: Art

Sam Smith Received A 6-Foot Tall, 2-Ton Marble Penis Statue As A Gift From Ed Sheeran

October 12, 2022 / Posted by:

If you’re friends with Ed Sheeran, it seems like an unsolicited dick statue may be the new unsolicited dick pic. I’m just going to pretend that Ed’s chums got sick of opening his texts only to find his fiery bush and limp fuck parts, so it was time for him to start thinking outside of the box, which led to this brilliant idea: Ed is known among his friends and acquaintances for having big, hard dicks delivered right to their doorsteps, with Sam Smith being the proud new owner of one of the biggest schlong statues yet.

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Open Post: Hosted By Rihanna At The Met Gala In The Form Of A (Virtual) Statue

May 3, 2022 / Posted by:

Rihanna is in the third trimester of her pregnancy, and you know what they say about the third trimester: no long plane rides, don’t get anywhere near cat litter, and NO going to the Met Gala. So, alas, Rihanna could not attend. But a Rihanna-less Met Gala is no way to Met Gala! Us Weekly says that organizers had no choice but to create a (virtual) marble Rihanna statue and debut it online in celebration of the event. Move over, David! There’s a new HBIC of the Statue World.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Giant Velveeta Box That Replaced The Gold Cube In Central Park

February 7, 2022 / Posted by:

Last week a pure gold cube worth $11.7 million appeared in Central Park with its own security team, courtesy of German artist Niclas Castello. The piece had something to do with… cryptocurrency? Probably NFTs? Anyway, it didn’t last long. The cube was quickly ushered off to a private rich person party on Wall Street. But on Friday a surprising item took its place: an eight-foot box of Velveeta cheese. Finally, a piece of art us dummies can sink our teeth into! Continue reading

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Open Post: Hosted By The $11.7 Million Pure Gold Cube Sitting In Central Park With Its Own Security

February 4, 2022 / Posted by:

On Wednesday morning, a 410-pound pure 24-karat gold cube was dropped in the middle of Central Park. My first thought was, obviously, rich bitch aliens. But it turns out the cube is an art piece by German artiste Niclas Castello. And while the artwork is not for sale, it’s valued at about $11.7 million and came with its own security team that was stationed nearby. So don’t even think about pissing on it. Or writing, “PIGEON LADY WUZ HERE.”

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Open Post: Hosted By The Danish Artist Who Took The Money And Ran

September 30, 2021 / Posted by:

Jens Haaning is a Danish conceptual artiste known for being a cutting-edge “provocateur.” Now, when you’ve got a rep like that, ya gotta be constantly be thinking of genius, avant-garde ways to stick it to “The Man.” Shit sounds exhausting, and I’d much rather be a lazy conformist (I love Big Brother!). Luckily for Jens, the perfect opportunity to prove his badassery came along when the Kunsten Museum of Modern Art in Aalborg commissioned him to recreate two of his earlier works for their exhibition on labor conditions and money, entitled “Work It Out.”

Back in the day, Jens created two pieces of art that featured cash taped to canvas. The amount of banknotes on each canvas represented the average annual wage in Denmark and Austria. So the museum gave Jens 534,000 Danish krone (about $84,000) to stick to his new art and another 25,000 Danish krone (almost $4,000) as payment. The idea was that the $84,000 would be returned to the museum when the exhibition ended in January. But when Jens’ finished pieces were delivered to the museum, the canvasses were blank and the money was nowhere to be found. HuffPo says that Jens had titled the pieces, “Take the Money and Run.” And that’s exactly what the cheeky bastard did. Punk’d! Officially! Continue reading

Kanye West Would Like To Date A Fellow Artist Next

April 15, 2021 / Posted by:

Above all else, Kanye West is an artist. Nay an artiste. On par with the likes of Michelangelo and Picasso. Shit, I’m really underselling this. Kanye is, in his own words, “unquestionably, undoubtedly, the greatest human artist of all time. It’s not even a question at this point. It’s just a fact.” Since the first Homo sapien wiped his dookie on a cave wall and deemed it good, only Congo the Chimpanzee (1954–1964) has surpassed Kanye’s skills as an artist. As such, according to Page Six, Kanye will only be accepting applications from fellow artists to fill the position of Kaney’s next romantic partner. Which makes sense. Kanye’s estranged wife Kim Kardashian was merely the clay in their relationship. Her surgeon was the artist.

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