Category: Oh Lord Jesus It’s A Fire

The Main Stone Structure Of Notre Dame Was Saved And Millions Have Been Pledged Towards Its Reconstruction

April 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Yesterday, with great indifference and disregard for history, culture, or religion, a blazing fire tore through one of the western world’s most iconic structures. Thankfully today, though without roof or spire, Notre Dame still stands. It seems it took the dramatic spectacle of Notre Dame ablaze for it to get the care and attention it so desperately needed to stand for another 850+ years. According to CNN, in direct response to the fire, “nearly half a billion euros” in private donations have flooded in, earmarked for the rebuilding and restoration of Notre Dame. I guess self-immolation is the only way to get people’s attention these days.

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Open Post: Hosted By Miss Congo Getting Crowned With Literal Fire After Winning The Miss Africa Pageant

December 28, 2018 / Posted by:

A true Queen laughs in the face of adversity. She will not be brought low by petty people, small minds, and certainly not by the elements. One such queen is the newly crowned Miss Africa whose entire head was engulfed in flames. Miss Congo, Dorcas Kasinde, was onstage having just been announced the winner of the Miss Africa beauty pagent when the accompanying fireworks lit her afro wig ablaze like a kerosene soaked q-tip. Thankfully her hair was extinguished before she was hurt. Unscathed and unbothered, she went back onstage to receive her crown, probably smelling like a sunk that got run over by a semi truck. I’m telling you this now so you know it’s OK if you need to laugh.

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Open Post: Hosted By Cher Dragging Madonna On “Ellen”

September 24, 2018 / Posted by:

In a recent appearance on Ellen, Cher reignited a long-standing… something that’s not exactly a feud per se (a feud implies two evenly matched foes)- let’s call it a “difference in approach” between herself and Madonna. Cher, resplendent in elegantly styled Scandinavian ABBA locks, played a game called “The 5-Second Rule” where she quickly had to answer the question “name 5 celebrities you’d want to do a duet with”. Congratulations to Adele and Pink, you made the list! Take a victory lap, make it happen. I would eat those duets up with a rhinestone fork. However, condolences are in order for Madge.

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