It’s been a minute or two since we checked in on career bridge arsonist Roseanne Barr. Unsurprisingly, things were still a mess in Roseanne’s neck of the woods. She had accused Sara Gilbert of killing her career (I didn’t realize Sara Gilbert’s Twitter handle was @therealroseanne). She was also complaining that she can’t use the f-word. Well, it looks like Roseanne found the sweet spot in the middle of the Venn diagram of people who have no problem saying offensive stuff, and people who still pick up the phone when they see her number on the call display, and apparently it’s Andrew Dice Clay.
Roseanne Barr claims that not only did she put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp, she also put the Q in LGBTQ. And while the jury is still out on who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong, Roseanne is definitely responsible for putting the long, heavy sigh in my “this bitch again?”. Roseanne put down the live fish she’d been chomping on and popped her head out from under her bridge to complain about not being able to use the word “fag” in public. In a video titled “The word ‘fag’ is h8ful-I put the Q in LGBTQ”, Roseanne questioned why she can’t use the word, in public at least, especially considering she’s “as queer as two mother fuckers”. I’m sorry, qwat?
Roseanne Barr knows better than anyone that nobody can hurt you as deeply as your own pretend family. In an interview with The Washington Post (why tho?), Roseanne accused her pretend daughter, Sara Gilbert, of ruining her career and destroying her life. I know, I know! I too thought thought Ambien had ruined Roseanne’s career. I guess the good folks at Sanofi-Aventis will sleep soundly tonight knowing they no longer have the blood of Roseanne’s mangled career on their hands.
Roseanne Barr is widely recognized for her sensible words, calm demeanour and political correctness. Thus she’s the perfect person to be invited to speak to the parliament of Israel. I guess the Jewish capital of the world just won’t bring up that whole Hitler baking photoshoot Roseanne was a part of, huh?
The Conners premiered last night and as expected, they wasted no time in killing off Roseanne. Also as expected, the writers killed her off with an opioid overdose. Roseanne knew this day was coming, but she sure as hell isn’t happy about the way her character went out.
It’s been more than four months since ABC cancelled Roseanne. Since then, a lot has happened. Roseanne has remained supremely messy. ABC brought back Roseanne but changed the name to The Conners. Through it all, the rest of the main cast hasn’t really said too much, save for the odd tweet denouncing Roseanne’s twitter racism, or John Goodman’s confession that he was pretty depressed when the show was canned. Well, Sara Gilbert, John, and Laurie Metcalf have been talking to People, and of course they talked about Roseanne’s exit.