Category: No Thank You

Open Post: Hosted By The Failed McDonald’s Proposal

May 6, 2022 / Posted by:

A man in South Africa has gone viral after he proposed to his girlfriend in a McDonald’s and got brutally, publicly rejected. The clip, which ended up on Twitter, shows the dude on one knee, presenting the unnamed woman with a little box (presumably there’s an engagement ring inside, but maybe a McNugget?). The crowd at the McDonald’s cheers, but the woman is having none of it. She shakes her head and says no to her would-be-fiancé. Then she walks out as the crowd boos. After her exit, the failed proposer stands back up and slinks away with his meal.

Here’s the worst part: it’s a McDonald’s… in a mall. Who in their right mind would say yes to a proposal in a mall McDonald’s? And don’t say Grimace, cuz everybody knows he’s a desperate purple slut with zero standards. Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Egg The Kitty’s Reaction To A Harness

April 25, 2022 / Posted by:

There once was a small kitten named Egg. Egg’s humans, Samantha Hogue and her boyfriend Denny Park, lived in Bellevue, Washington. The city’s name is derived from the French term “belle vue” (“beautiful view”). Maybe that’s why Egg’s humans wanted to leash-train him, so he could strut around town and enjoy the sights, like all those lucky dogs! Unfortunately, Egg did not immediately take to his new harness. Fortunately, his reaction was filmed and got him over 280,000 fans on TikTok.

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Janet Jackson Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With The New York Times Documentary About Her Super Bowl Halftime Show

November 26, 2021 / Posted by:

Back in March, The New York Times, in association with Hulu and FX, dropped Framing Britney Spears, a documentary that looked to effectively re-write the narrative surrounding Britney Spears’ 13-year-long conservatorship. And yeah, mission accomplished. The next person The New York Times was hoping to reputationally rehab with a documentary is Janet Jackson, whose career seemingly took a sudden nosedive after her 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show performance, in which one of her titties was exposed after Justin Timberlake yanked at her costume. Last week, The New York Times finally dropped Malfunction: The Dressing Down of Janet Jackson. I’m sure it’s not too much of a stretch to assume that Justin Timberlake wants nothing to do with Malfunction. But according to Miss Jackson’s former stylist, Janet doesn’t want to be involved with Malfunction either.

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Open Post: Hosted By A Japanese “Super Death” Roller Coaster That Was Suspended After Injuring Riders

August 27, 2021 / Posted by:

Sorry, adrenaline junkies. Japan’s Fuji-Q Highland Park has been forced to suspend the Do-Dodonpa roller coaster after at least six people reported injuries from the ride. Six people since December. Do-Dodonpa is famous for its “super death” acceleration, the fastest in the world; it hits 112 miles per hour in just 1.56 seconds. Literally breakneck speeds. Like, literally literally; four of the six injured riders claim to have broken their necks or backs on the ride. See, this is why I stick to Ferris wheels and lazy river raft rides. A much smaller risk of neck breakage and wild geese hurling themselves at your face.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For “He’s All That,” Which Jameela Jamil Thinks Looks Terrible

August 5, 2021 / Posted by:

The original She’s All That wasn’t really all that to begin with so people had low expectations for He’s All That, the gender-swapped remake starring TikToker Addison Rae, going in. Well, the trailer is here, and let’s just say expectations were met! Exceeded even, considering that Addison’s best adult friend Kourtney Kardashian pops up out of nowhere. No wonder Jameela Jamil #TookToTwitter to proclaim — “This looks objectively Fucking terrible.” And she’s right. The “nerd” (Tanner Buchanan) Addison makes over doesn’t even wear glasses! I’m like, come on. How else are we supposed to know a transformation has occurred? Make! It! Make! Sense!

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Here’s The Full Trailer For Camila Cabello’s Girlboss “Cinderella”

August 3, 2021 / Posted by:

I don’t think Camila Cabello is going to be getting in line behind Scarlett Johansson to sue her studio anytime soon because the trailer for her new Cinderella movie for Amazon Prime is out, and had they released this shit in theaters as originally planned, the theaters would probably all have to shut down all over again. Because we saw what happened the last time James Corden was let loose on the big screen. Now I’m not saying Cats caused the pandemic, I’m just saying we can’t be too careful.

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