Category: Ivana Trump

Czech Immigrant Ivana Trump Is Being Called A Bigot After She Echoed Donald Trump’s Views On Immigrants

September 17, 2020 / Posted by:

Donald Trump’s ex-wife Ivana Trump is being labeled as a bigot after a recent appearance on the British chat show Loose Women. Ivana, an immigrant to the United States, said among other things, that immigrants come here to steal and rape women. Now before you rush to judgment, know that she was working on very little sleep. Maybe she was talking about Donald. After all, she had to get up hours before the interview to do her hair and makeup after having had a sleeping pill chased with a little chardonnay as a midnight snack. But more likely, just like everything else that bears the Trump name, Ivana proved, once again, that no matter how much you buff it, wax it, or plate it with gold, we’re still just looking at a quivering monument to racism, narcissism and greed with too many teeth. And yes I am including the steaks. It says so right there on the label “may contain teeth.

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Ivana Trump’s Ex Rossano Rubicondi Bashed Her Kids

July 5, 2019 / Posted by:

Last month, Ivana Trump became single once again when she broke up with her ex-husband-turned-boyfriend,  Rossano Rubicondi. The two had been together for over ten years, but I guess they just didn’t see eye-to-eye on the whole border situation. Just Kidding, you think these two nitwits give a shit about that? Ivana just got bored of him, saying their relationship had “run its course.” Rossano is taking it well, and now he’s talking shit about her kids–which I am fully here for and is a concept I support.

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Ivana Trump Has Broken Up With Her Fourth Ex-Husband Who She Was Dating For 10 Years

June 27, 2019 / Posted by:

The very model of a timeless classic, the symbiotic relationship between an Italian gigolo and a divorced/widowed Eastern European gold digger, has been dealt a devastating blow. Page Six reports that Ivana Trump and her fourth ex-husband Rossano Rubicondi have officially ended their on again off again relationship for good. Or at least for now. I think it probably depends on if Rossano’s dreams of a reality TV show about him running a fast/casual Italian restaurant near Mar-a-Lago called “Rossano to Go” eventually pans out. Sadly, I don’t think that it will. The venture appears to have stalled out sometime in 2017.

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Open Post: Hosted By Rita Ora Giving You Intergalactic Bordello Madam

January 28, 2018 / Posted by:

When you’re a question mark’s favorite pop singer and people regularly mistake you for the wall, you have to pull some shit to make people pay attention to you. Like dress yourself up as a Miss Kitty from the future who just got jumped by a gang of silkie chickens.

Clive Davis threw his annual pre-Grammy party in NYC last night, and many of the guests decided to save their better dresses for tonight’s Grammys (although, they should really just wear pajamas with an attached pillow and duvet cover, because that shit is going to be three and a half fucking hours long). Because most of them wore boring dresses bought off the rack at Macy’s (Taryn Manning’s impact!), but not Rita Ora.

Rita Ora threw feathers, fringe, bows, rhinestone and whatever else that was on sale at Michael’s onto her body. Rita looks like she just came from auditioning for the Thandie Newton role in a no-budget unauthorized Public Access reboot of Westworld that takes place way off in the future and will eventually get shut down after HBO sues. Rita is also dressed like a look-for-less Kartrashian, which is saying a lot since the Kartrashians dress like look-for-less Kartrashians.

And here’s a million more pictures from Clive Davis’ party, including Kathie Lee Gifford (who I hope wins, via write-in vote, the Best Song Grammy tonight for He Saw Jesus) and Martha Stewart, whose dogs are probably nervous that she’s going to skin and wear their asses next.


Ivana Trump Gleefully Gabbed Again About The Other Mrs. Trump

November 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Every time Ivana Trump sits down to do an interview I get real excited with the hope that some juicy (and actionable) tidbit about Donald Trump will “innocently” slip from her exuberantly painted lips. But she’s very careful. Since she walked back those early rape allegations a while back, she’s mostly kept her gossip very shady and directed at easy target Melania Trump. Even if she’s chosen not to bring down the current administration (because there’s a chance she could if she wanted to), she still can’t resist subtly dragging Donny and his “new” wife whenever she gets the chance.

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Ivanka Trump Claims To Have Had A “Punk Phase”

October 18, 2017 / Posted by:

I don’t trust anybody named Trump as far as I can throw them. Ivanka Trump, perhaps the most easily tossed Trump, is no exception. So when Ivanka says she went through a “punk phase”, I’ve got to go see my ophthalmologist for severe spraining of the eyeballs. Ivanka wrote a chapter in her mom Ivana Trump‘s book Raising Trump, and because she’s a bad liar, she revealed that she used to shoplift tampons with GG Allin back in the day. Or close to it!

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