Donald Trump Jr. And Kimberly Guilfoyle Are Engaged
I wasn’t ever quite sure what was on her agenda when Kimberly Guilfoyle unhinged her jaw and ominously screamed THE BEST IS YET TO COME during the 2020 RNC, better known on Twitter as the #CocaineConvention, but it looks like it might have been referring to some personal developments. I honestly thought she was summoning an army of demons from the depths of Abaddon but according to Page Six, she might have just been foretelling something more personal. Because on Saturday, Kimberly posted an Instagram pic that makes it seem like she and her boyfriend of a year Donald Trump Jr. are headed to the altar. And since there are no altars in Hell, I guess that means they’re probably getting married at the closest equivalent, the Donald J. Trump Grand Ballroom at Mar-A-Lago.
This week on Ugly Succession, Don Jr. had a big blow-out birthday bash at Mar-A-Lago on New Year’s Eve, his actual birthday, which is great because it meant that daddy was going to put on a suit and come downstairs anyway. He even convinced Donald J. Trump to tear himself away from the seafood buffet long enough for a photo op with his #1* son. Kimberly shared a picture from the party on Instagram to show off her shiny engagement ring and proximity to power. Page Six reports:
Donald Trump Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle are headed to the altar, having been engaged for nearly a year, a source close to both of them confirmed to Page Six on Monday.
The former Fox News contributor sparked engagement rumors when she was seen wearing a massive diamond ring on her ring finger in a photo she posted to Instagram on Saturday.
“Don and Kim got engaged on New Year’s Eve 2020 — which is Don’s birthday. They’ve been together for almost four years now and have been friends for 15 years,” an insider told the website.
The source added, “They’ve kept it private for the past year as they settled into life in Florida after moving from New York” and that “both are focused on their children —they have six between them — and their work.”
Yes, so many memes to make, so little time. I hope Aubrey O’Day channels this egregious slight into a banger for the ages. Adele better watch her back. Here’s Kimberley’s post announcing the news with only a fraction of the enthusiasm she showed when she was high off her tits from free-basing patriotism. It’s a helluva drug.
Kimberly also shared a special gift she received for Christmas from her man.
So sweet, so sentimental, so white. Don’s punctuation may need work, but his penmanship is impeccable! But Jr. should be careful how he signs things. Kimberly might get confused and think Donald Sr. is courting her. The last thing you want to hear from your fiance is “sorry to this man.” Next thing you know she’s your new step-mom! Don Jr. shared a special moment from his birthday party too, one he probably has saved on his phone so he can watch it over and over and over again anytime he feels unloved, or anything really, apart from numbness in his face.
I’m sure we can look forward to many over-the-top celebrity weddings in 2022 but Don Jr. and Kimberly’s nuptials will be the highlight of the season. But they better have it on Don’s next NYE birthday at Mar-A-Lago if they want the big guy to show up.
*That he knows of