Cardi B Took Offset Back Because She Missed Having Sex

October 15, 2020 / Posted by:

It was just yesterday that I wrote that Cardi B had teased a collaboration that, in her words, would make people mad, and that the internet took that as a sign she recorded a song with her enemy Nicki Minaj. As it turns out, Cardi is happy to confirm a collaboration with someone from the “Motorsport” video, but not Nicki. Although it’s the kind of situation that will definitely have people feeling less than enthusiastic about her choices. After kissing her estranged husband Offset at her 28th birthday party, Cardi B says she has decided to take him back because she misses getting laid.

Cardi B filed for divorce from Offset, her husband of three years and the father of her two-year-old daughter, Kulture Kiari, one month ago. There were rumors of cheating (naturally, because – it’s Offset, after all), and the possibility of a secret baby. Cardi herself claimed it was because they did nothing but fight. But in between all that fighting, there must have been some fucking, and the kind of fucking she missed bad enough to call him back home. Complex says that Cardi addressed the situation during an Instagram Live session. She would also like everyone to reserve their judgment and keep their feelings to themselves:

“I just be starting to miss [him]. It’s hard not to talk to your best friend. And it’s really hard to have no dick…We’re some really typical two young motherfuckers, got married early…We’re not no different than y’all fucking dysfunctional ass relationships. We’re the same way. We’re just more public.”

To do the math, Cardi was 24 when she got secret-married to Offset, who was also just 24. They had been dating only a little while before they got married. They also broke up a bunch of times, had messy awkward public reunions, got into fights over side-pieces. So, yeah – that part about being two young motherfuckers who thrive on dysfunction checks out. But the part about missing him and his penis? IT’S BEEN FOUR WEEKS. And she filed for divorce! It wasn’t like, an offhand tweet about maybe thinking about dumping his ass for good. She went to her lawyer and put the papers in the mail. Don’t divorce papers come with a warning that it might take up to six weeks for your genitals to adjust? Because they should.


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