“Why Bother?” Was The Primary Fashion Takeaway At Last Night’s MTV VMAs

August 31, 2020 / Posted by:

Well, MTV has done it! They’ve shown that you can put on a star-studded spectacle in the middle of a global pandemic and proved beyond a doubt that it’s a very dumb idea. MTV dared to do what the other girls wouldn’t and risked everybody’s health by inviting confirmed disease vector Doja Cat (who really should have that glowing fish whistle looked at) and others to walk a virtual red carpet set up for last night’s MTV VMAs. Was it worth it? Well, let me put it this way. No.

As previously reported, MTV got special dispensation from the New York Department of Health that allowed for out-of-state performers, guests and crew and to attend without being subject to the usual 14-day quarantine. You already know this is going to a shit show because I’m here talk about FASHUN, but just wasted a whole bunch of words talking about disease! As such, the New York Post reports that many of the “red carpet” looks this year were actually shot against a green screen background ahead of last night’s live show.

Sunday night, the 2020 VMAS offered a canned red carpet — interviews were mostly taped, resulting in staid photos of the stars on-screen.

There was no real showcase of what MTV’s Video Music Awards are known for: The most irreverent, ridiculous and revealing fashion on the planet.

Instead, the awards, which happened “live” here in NYC, but were mostly pre-recorded in the days leading up to the show, with many performers shot in-studio on a green screen, featuring seemingly pre-done looks.

MTV did have a little carpeted corner set up for guests who were performing live to stand in, but without the throngs of screaming fans, press, camera flashes and the pressure of having to fix your face after the humiliation of getting snubbed by Jessica Lange, all you’re left with is Machine Gun Kelly practicing his freshest Barbizon looks after having raided his girlfriend’s closet and stretched out one of her good turtlenecks.

Here’s a look at MGK partaking in the “virtual video booth” MTV set up to help liven things up.

I’d like to establish a moratorium on exposed tongues until such a time as scientists can prove it doesn’t make you look like an unoriginal imbecile. Lady Gaga was the only performer who really pulled out all the stops in the name of fashion. Allison already covered her impressive mask collection, but what we didn’t see was Gaga’s heart touching homage to her favorite childhood treat, Jiffy Pop popcorn.

The most violent and visually disturbing look of the night actually wasn’t The Weeknd who posed on the carpet with his face bloodied and bruised (recreating the look he wore in his Blinding Lights music video). Uncomfortably, it was Bella Hadid’s tortured titties taking that prize as she was in clear violation of the Geneva Convention.

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Capping off the “This clearly isn’t working” theme for the event was Jaden Smith who took time away from his promising career as a full-time inventor and savior of the people, (“I’m not a musician. I’m an inventor. And Elon Musk is my idol and I’m not gonna stop until I’m like Elon Musk.”— July 2019), to illustrate just how far unisex knitwear has come!

Here’s a few more lowlights from the night including MTV’s best attempt at trying to make champagne and caviar out of boba tea kombucha with this lazy “highlights” reel.

Pic: MTV

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