Here Are The Nominees For The (Untelevised) 2022 Golden Globes

Just because you’re broke and ugly, that doesn’t mean you have cornered the market on suffering. If you prick a celebrity, do they not bleed? Well they do — profusely, dramatically and off-key. Sure, the last couple of years may have been hard on everyone, but it’s been particularly hard on actors who’ve had their very livelihoods upturned by the ravages the coronavirus has taken on the global box office as well having to have witnessed the downfall of one of their most beloved institutions of affirmation, The Golden Globes. But even though NBC decided not to air the 2022 ceremony due to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s “lack of diversity and shoddy ethical practices,” Variety reports that the “beleaguered and scandal-plagued” HFPA has gone ahead and enlisted Snoop Dogg to read aloud their nominees, I guess because he was the only Black celebrity they could get on such short notice. Because as we know, Scarlett Johansson’s sick of being their token and wants nothing more to do with them.

If you’ll recall, the 2021 GGs were mired in scandal when it was revealed that members of their voting body, the HFPA, had been plied with luxurious gifts and lavish vacations which resulted in the nearly universally panned Netflix show Emily In Paris receiving multiple nominations. We also learned that there was not one single Black HFPA member. But now they’ve got Snoop so, all is forgiven? No, it’s too little too late. Ben Affleck is nominated this year for Best Supporting Actor in The Tender Bar. And, if the ceremony was going to be televised, he almost certainly would have brought Jennifer Lopez as his date. That’s thousands and thousands of ratings and a whole heaping pile of spectacle they’re just going to leave there on the table. It’s cruel to Ben. It’s cruel to JLo. And most importantly, it’s cruel to the poor NBC janitor who has to sweep it all into the trash. This is where pretending to have principles gets you. According to Variety:

In a letter obtained by Variety last week, the group’s president Helen Hoehne revealed that the 2022 ceremony will be focused on the HFPA’s philanthropic efforts, and she invited celebrities to participate in announcing the nominations, like typical years. However, the 2022 Golden Globes will look different than usual years as a cloud still hangs over the HFPA. Hoehne reveals the nominations during a live stream that also featured Snoop Dogg reading out the group’s selections for the best in television and film.

In her remarks, Hoehne called 2021 “a year of change and reflection” for the group.

Netflix, as in previous years, is well represented with 17 nominations. Maid was nominated for Best Limited Series, Don’t Look Up and Tick, Tick … Boom! for Best Picture, Musical or Comedy, Squid Game and Lupin for Best Television Series, Drama and The Power of The Dog tied with Kenneth Branagh’s Belfast (Focus Features) for the most nominations with 7 each. HBO’s Succession also cleaned up with acting nominations for Brian Cox, Kieran Culkin, and Jeremy Strong. Man, if Aaron Sorkin was annoying before, he’s going to be doubly insufferable now because not only has his boy Jeremy been vindicated with this nom, Nicole Kidman was also nominated for Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama for Being The Ricardos. She’s up against Aaron’s Twitter surrogate Jessica Chastain in The Eyes of Tammy Faye, Olivia Coleman in The Lost Daughter, Lady Gaga in House of Gucci, and Kristen Stewart in Spencer. Will you not weep for Gaga now? If a Serious Actor cries while accepting her award and there’s no camera there to see it, does she still get loud? We’ll never know because JLo won’t be there. Not after this disrespect.

Congrats to Ben Affleck(or how to Snoop Dogg like to call him “Been Afflack”) for his Golden Globe nomination. pic.twitter.com/dlLGXDiZhq

— bennifer tea (@jloaffleck) December 13, 2021

Here are most of the other nominees for the 2022 Golden Globes which I guess will be taking place in the parking lot of The Beverly Hills Hotel Total Landscaping.

Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy

“The Great” (Hulu) 

“Hacks” (HBO/HBO Max)

“Only Murders in the Building” (Hulu)

“Reservation Dogs” (FX on Hulu) 

“Ted Lasso” (Apple TV Plus)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Drama

Brian Cox (“Succession”)

Lee Jung-jae (“Squid Game”)

Billy Porter (“Pose”)

Jeremy Strong (“Succession”)

Omar Sy (“Lupin)

Best Performance by an Actress, Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture made for Television

Jessica Chastain (“Scenes From a Marriage”)

Cynthia Erivo (“Genius: Aretha”) 

Elizabeth Olsen (“WandaVision“) 

Margaret Qualley (“Maid”) 

Kate Winslet (“Mare of Easttown”)

Best Director, Motion Picture

Kenneth Branagh (“Belfast”) 

Jane Campion (“The Power of the Dog”)

Maggie Gyllenhaal (“The Lost Daughter”)

Steven Spielberg (“West Side Story”) 

Denis Villeneuve (“Dune”) 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Marion Cotillard (“Annette”)

Alana Haim (“Licorice Pizza”) 

Jennifer Lawrence (“Don’t Look Up”) 

Emma Stone (“Cruella”)

Rachel Zegler (“West Side Story”)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama

Mahershala Ali (“Swan Song”)

Javier Bardem (“Being the Ricardos”)

Benedict Cumberbatch (“The Power of the Dog”) 

Will Smith (“King Richard”) 

Denzel Washington (“The Tragedy of Macbeth”) 

Best Television Series, Drama

“Lupin” (Netflix)

“The Morning Show” (Apple TV Plus)

“Pose” (FX)

“Squid Game” (Netflix)

“Succession” (HBO/HBO Max)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Drama

Uzo Aduba (“In Treatment”)

Jennifer Aniston (“The Morning Show”)

Christine Baranski (“The Good Fight)

Elisabeth Moss (“The Handmaid’s Tale”)

Michaela Jaé Rodriguez (“Pose”)

Best Performance by an Actor, Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture made for Television

Paul Bettany (“WandaVision”)

Oscar Isaac (“Scenes From a Marriage”)

Michael Keaton (“Dopesick”)

Ewan McGregor (“Halston”)

Tahar Rahim (“The Serpent”)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Leonardo DiCaprio (“Don’t Look Up”) 

Peter Dinklage (“Cyrano”) 

Andrew Garfield (“Tick, Tick … Boom!”) 

Cooper Hoffman (“Licorice Pizza”)

Anthony Ramos (“In the Heights”)

Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture

Ben Affleck (“The Tender Bar”) 

Jamie Dornan (“Belfast”) 

Ciarán Hinds (“Belfast”) 

Troy Kotsur (“CODA”) 

Kodi Smit-McPhee (“The Power of the Dog”) 

Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy

Hannah Einbinder (“Hacks”)

Elle Fanning (“The Great”)

Issa Rae (“Insecure”)

Tracee Ellis Ross (“Black-ish”)

Jean Smart (“Hacks”)

Best Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture made for Television

“Dopesick” (Hulu)

“Impeachment: American Crime Story” (FX)

“Maid” (Netflix) 

“Mare of Easttown” (HBO/HBO Max)

“The Underground Railroad” (Amazon Prime Video)

Best Supporting Actor, Television

Billy Crudup (“The Morning Show”)

Kieran Culkin (“Succession”)

Mark Duplass (“The Morning Show”)

Brett Goldstein (“Ted Lasso”)

O Yeong-su (“Squid Game”)

Best Picture, Musical or Comedy

“Cyrano” (MGM)

“Don’t Look Up” (Netflix) 

“Licorice Pizza” (MGM) 

“Tick, Tick … Boom!” (Netflix) 

“West Side Story” (20th Century Studios / Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures) 

Best Supporting Actress, Motion Picture

Caitríona Balfe (“Belfast”) 

Ariana DeBose (“West Side Story”) 

Kirsten Dunst (“The Power of the Dog”) 

Aunjanue Ellis (“King Richard”) 

Ruth Negga (“Passing”)

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture

Paul Thomas Anderson — “Licorice Pizza” (MGM/United Artists Releasing) 

Kenneth Branagh — “Belfast” (Focus Features) 

Jane Campion — “The Power of the Dog” (Netflix) 

Adam McKay — “Don’t Look Up” (Netflix)

Aaron Sorkin — “Being the Ricardos” (Amazon Studios)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama

Jessica Chastain (“The Eyes of Tammy Faye”)

Olivia Colman (“The Lost Daughter”) 

Nicole Kidman (“Being the Ricardos”)

Lady Gaga (“House of Gucci”) 

Kristen Stewart (“Spencer”) 

Best Motion Picture, Drama

“Belfast” (Focus Features) 

“CODA” (Apple) 

“Dune” (Warner Bros.) 

“King Richard” (Warner Bros.) 

“The Power of the Dog” (Netflix) 

Best Television Actor, Musical / Comedy Series

Anthony Anderson (“Black-ish”)

Nicholas Hoult (“The Great”)

Steve Martin (“Only Murders in the Building”)

Martin Short (“Only Murders in the Building”)

Jason Sudeikis (“Ted Lasso”)

Best Supporting Actress, Television

Jennifer Coolidge (“White Lotus”)

Kaitlyn Dever (“Dopesick”)

Andie MacDowell (“Maid”)

Sarah Snook (“Succession”)

Hannah Waddingham (“Ted Lasso”)

Pic: Twitter